A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please help guys! I used to work with this girl who was very insecure and nosey. She always used to poke her nose in eveyones business, was opinionated and invited herself to everything everyone was doing.She left our company 5 months ago- thank goodness but still keeps in touch with a few of us.Unfortunatly her new workplace is round the corner from my house and before she left she casually said "I'll pop round to see you on my way home". I said that was fine and thought no more about it.However she comes over to see me atleast 2 times a week. And it's not just for an hour and a chat she stays for 2/3hrs and on a couple of occasions I've had to feed her (she saw I was cooking and hinting how hungry she was). Once I was even getting ready to go out and she didn't take the hint I was busy but hanged around waiting for an invite to come out to.So I've started to avoid her. When she knocks I don't answer or send my house mate to say I'm not in and then she sends me txts and voicemails to say she's been over and i wait a while before replying with an excuse.The other day I just before I drove in to my street I saw her car in my drive so I turned around and parked near some shops. I'm acting childish I know but she is the kind of person that if you tell her that her constant popping in is a bit much (no matter how nice u put it) she will automatically think you hate her and then whinge and bitch about you and play down her part to make you look likecthe enemy, this is the kind of thing she did at work and turned people against eachother.She has lots of friends and lives with her boyfriend and sister so I know she isn't lonley and when she's not stalking me she us out with her other mates...What do I do? Why is she so needy?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 You need to be very careful how you approach this situation. A needy person can pick everything up the wrong way and am sure no matter what that you dont want to hurt this person. But am afraid to tell you honesty is the best policy, you are going around it all the wrong way. Avoiding her is just going to hurt her more as am sure she has picked up on this. You need to sit down and be honest with her, tell her you dont mind her popping around for a little while but that after work you like to have your own space and time to do as you please. Maybe come up with a solution that maybe use could meet up at a pub or something once every fortnight and have a drink, at least this is a public place and you can leave whenever you want to. If however the case is that you dont want anything to do with this women then just tell her the truth darling, it will be easier in the long run believe me. Try not to let it bother you if she startes talking rubbish behind your back as at least you no you were honest with her which is the best thing. Good luck Sweetie.
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