A
male
age
41-50,
*aralyzed
writes:Well, I was dumped again last night. My g/f's cousin and brother are in town. He was here for a wedding and she agreed before he arrived that she would watch his 2 year old son last night. Friday night her and I went out partying with her friends. Her cousin came along, and we partied at her other brother's house. Then we went to a few local bars. Going out drinking together usually ends in a fight between us, and Friday night was no exception.So, I ran into a girl I knew from years ago, and hadn't seen in a few years. I will call her E. She was excited to see me, and I was happy to see her as well. We hugged and chatted amongst the crowd. My g/f was next to me and obviously was not impressed. She interupted our conversation and I introduced them to each other. My g/f immediately asked how we knew each other. Here is where things got worse. E was a work term student at my ex wife's company a few years ago. My ex and I had spent a lot of time with E. We all got along very well, as she was a super sweet girl. So, after my g/f asked us this question, I guess I stalled in answering, because I knew it would upset her. She asked again, and I told her that E had worked with my ex a few years back. So, my g/f quickly stalked off with her cousin and left me there chatting. E noticed that my g/f was pissed. I finished the conversation and went to find my g/f. When I found her she immediately began berating me about making her look bad for not answering the question right away, yadda yadda. That was only the first incident.We moved on to another club, my g/f leading the way through the huge crowds of people. I was lagging behind and became split from the group. I spent the next half hour looking around for everyone. Shortly after I recieved a call on my cell. It was my g/f wondering where I had gone. We found each other again and on the way to the dance floor, I bumped into two old friends that I had not seen in a long time. I will call them R and C. They were married and had a small child only recently. R - the girl- became very excited to see me and hugged me. I hugged her back and her husband C. I made the introductions between them and my g/f. R dragged me onto the dance floor to have a dance with her. After the dance, my g/f was once again very angry. We finally moved on to another club and my g/f was obviously still upset with me, and proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the evening. She made several attempts to be a show off and an attention seeker. I have become used to this and it didn't really bother me. I sat and chatted with her friends, getting along well with all of them.When it was time to go home, my g/f was still a little 'off', and she proceeded to tell everyone about a guy that had grabbed her from behind yadda yadda yadda. I guess I took the bait somewhat. We argued shortly afterwards and I told her she was a hypocrite (because it's true). When we arrived in a cab at her apartment, she realized she had forgotten her key at her brothers. We had to go to my place. The fight was over at this point, and I got us some water and headache pills.The next morning we didn't speak much. I had attempted to interest her in sex before we fell asleep and again the next morning. She rejected both advances. So, yesterday. She was supposed to play softball in the afternoon and then babysit her nephew. My friend is home for a few days. I had planned on hanging out with him last night. She knew this, I had told her this. She acted fine with it at times, but, made many comments about wanting me to babysit with her. I drove her to her brothers to pick up her car and keys. I had to go home and help my father lift a heavy appliance. My cousin called shortly after to hang out for the day. I called my g/f to let her know this, but she didn't answer. I left a message to let her know I was going out for the afternoon. I ran a lot later than I wanted. I had been talking to her once while I was out. She sounded fine. I phoned at around 6:30 and she was babysitting at that point. She sounded fine on the phone, but I knew she was still angry. I asked her what was wrong, and she claimed that I didn't make enough of an effort to spend time with her family. I missed a dinner at her aunts last week, and I didn't commit to traveling with her to spend a week with her mother. Now the background on this is, I didn't know if I could get the time off. She couldn't decide if she could afford the plane ticket, and a load of other reasons. So, as of a few days ago she had decided that she didn't want to go visit her mother. She said she would do it another time. The next day she said she wasn't going because she didn't want to go without me. So, as we are talking last night she brings up the fact that I wouldn't take that trip with her. And she said it was obvious I have more fun without her. I assume this is because I was going out without her and not babysitting. She said "I don't think it will ever work". I was upset naturally, but not surprised at her responses. I told her to never call me again and just leave me alone. I told her that she had put me through too much in the last year. I asked her why she would break up with me one day, want me back a week later and then expect me to buy a house with her. I asked her why she would do that. Her response was "I guess there is something wrong with me." As I got off the phone with her she sounded like she was crying. Perhaps she really was upset, I don't know. I assume she didn't like my response to her breaking up with me the 8th time. I assume i was supposed to change my plans and head over to babysit with her. I don't know. I have not called or emailed at this point. It hasn't been 24 hours yet, and I am struggling already. I need someone to let me know that I did all I could. That I didn't do anything wrong. I need help to stay strong and stay away. Everytime this happens I think I won't hear from her again, but I always do. Will this time be any different? Sorry for the long post.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Asked Angel  +, writes (3 December 2008):
 Welcome to the world of women. Being a lady i can see thing from you g/f point of veiw. I am not saying she's right or i agree with her but we do see things diffrently.Men are from mars and all that. I also bring things up with my B/F that he thought was long over but i hadnt finished.So to answer you question could you/should you have done anything diffrently no probably not and if you did is that a good thing?What i mean is should you drop everything all the time to run after her, No you shouldn't.Maybe your G/f is aware of this and that's why she keeps leaving you, but then realise's she want's to be with you and want's to try again.I'm not sure the realtionship will work but if you do try again you both need to be honest and upfront about what you want and need from each other
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