A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I don't know how long this will be, but I desperately need opinions on this situation that has been getting me down for quite a while and im not too sure if it's worth staying in my relationship. So here goes.. I've been with my boyfriend (C) just over six months now, it's serious we're going on holidays and doing multiple things together. I spend a lot of time at his house and vica versa his family are so sweet and so down to earth. He has a sister a couple of years younger who is also very nice (A). However she is very high maintenance and expects a lot of her family aka mum dad and brother (my bf) they ferry her around everywhere when she asks and if they say no she goes into a right strop. She also always has to have the lastest technology, most expensive clothes, bags makeup etc. I am not like this I will get the bus places I don't have to have the most expensive things through my own choice. A has many friends most of which are lovely and always acknowledge/speak to me when they are there apart from one. This girl (B) I met a few months ago, first off my boyfriends mum told me she wasn't too keen on her as she had lied about multiple things (won't go into detail). Anyway when I first met her she seemed fine we had a conversation while me my boyfriend and all his family were sat in the room I didn't think there was a problem at all and carried on as usual. The next day i left to go to work not thinking anything of it. The next time I saw her, A and B both came in and neither of them acknowledged me whatso ever B made eye contact with me but didn't smile or say anything. However when me B C A and their mum were all sat in the kitchen the four of them were having a conversation and I wasn't even included whenever I would say anything I was pretty much ignored by all four of them so I just sat there and didn't say anything. After this I was upstairs in my boyfriends bedroom and my boyfriend was still downstairs. A and C share a bathroom and the bathroom connects there two bedrooms the doors to the bedrooms are opposite eachother so if both doors are open you can see straight through. So this time our door was open and theirs was shut and suddenly B barged into the bathroom laughing completely naked didn't apologise or anything and shut the door. It wasn't even as if she was embarrassed she didn't bat an eyelid. Later on I told my boyfriend what happened and he said it was fine and I didn't need to make a big deal. Forgive me if I'm wrong but wouldn't you have a bit more respect for yourself and others in the house knowing that it's a shared bathroom? Because I know I would. After that incident every time A and B are there I just get blank stares but nothing is said no effort of conversation is made, however when B isn't there A is fine towards me. After telling my best friend about this and explaining that I feel a little uncomfortable and don't really know how to be around the two of them since it's as if they create an awkward silence for me but will happily speak to my boyfriend and laugh with him I decided stay away for a while when she is around which was my best friends idea. The two of them A and B have just came back from a holiday, while they were on holiday my uncle passed away and I was in pieces as it was an unexpected death. The two of them came back the other night which I wasn't aware of I went to my boyfriends last night and they were there. Me and my boyfriend were in the kitchen and the two of them were in the living room I felt a little uncomfortable still but just stood there while my boyfriend was making a snack. My boyfriend had his back turned to me and and A had gone upstairs, B walked into the kitchen literally stood in front of me looked me up and down and went to the fridge, after this I felt so awkward I went upstairs. As I was walking upstairs I could hear B and C laughing historically at something I waited upstairs for my boyfriend and burst out into tears, when he came upstairs they said they were just having a laugh and a joke and when I told him how she had looked at me he pretty much called me a liar, he already knew I felt uncomfortable about how I was being treated anyway. This happened to me at school where I would constantly be pushed aside and ignored I feel like it's happening all over again. I've spoken to my mum and she said I should just ignore it but how can I? Shouldn't my boyfriend me backing me up or at least trying to involve me in things when I am being pushed out? I also mentioned to my boyfriend that if I found out a family members of hers had died I would have acknowledged it and asked if she was okay. However he said they probably just didn't know although his mum knows and is very chatty and literally tells everyone everything so I'm pretty sure they do. Please tell me if I'm over reacting here because it's almost at the point where me and my boyfriend are about to break up over it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 April 2017):
 What age are these girls? It does sound to me like you are very sensitive and people in general upset and offend you easily. If it is effecting your relationship, then can you both not hang at your house more? I mean surely you don't need to be around at his all the time. Personally I would just ignore them, they sound like teenage girls to me. It could be B is jealous off you, and well if your boyfriend is calling you a liar maybe he feels you are over reacting. If you are not comfortable then stop going to his house.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for both of your advice. We didn't break up he came to my house for a ''chat' he finally said he could see my point of view etc, but then yesterday he told me despite seeing my side he's not going to stop laughing and joking with her even tho he knows how I'm being treated, it makes me feel really betrayed by him, like when you get bullied at school and your best friend is still pally with the person that's bullying you. He says he can't just take my word for it because he hasn't seen it. Yet I don't see why he would need proof I've never lied about anything before.
I'm not even allowed to speak about the matter anymore, and I no longer feel comfortable at his house.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2017): It seems to me that both the girls are younger than you are and showing a bit of jealousy.Obviously when you boyfriend is at your house they get ferried around less by your boyfriend!I think perhaps they are trying to ruffle your feathers by walking around starkers in the shared bathroom!Perhaps they are in a relationship with each other and just want to assert that they can be sexy too!However I wouldnt get upset about it.If you enjoy your boyfriends company see more of him at your place but dont be intimidated by the girls.However if you feel uncomfortable around them listen to your feelings and respect your own feelings by either asking them outright if they are an item or avoid them entirely!You are only dating,not married yet so you dont have to take on complicated family issues!Many people are useless at knowing what to say when there is bereavement!You are clearly more sensitive and sensible than these two giddy girls!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2017): My advice ..break up . You do it . Tell him you will not be treated in such a manner ; you would never treat him with such disregard so why should you let him . Your a liar really . He can see through his back .. me thinkest he has a liken for ms naked bottom. So do yourself a favour sweetie and let them both have them because I certainly wouldn't want to step in their way . You deserve so much better .And I'd do this on my turf .. get him to visit you. Not you round at his . And let him know a girl like you won't be left on the shelf for long . So he needn't worry .
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