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anonymous
writes: I know this is a very difficult question to answer but I would appreciate people views.We’re both 18 almost 19 now.All the way through primary school form age 5 to age 13/14 I was very close friends with this girl Ann we never had a falling out just simply drifted apart in high school.We were very close her family were like mine and vice versa.We were always mistaken for sisters coz even our looks similar.We’d still say ‘hello’ to each other if we past I the street or on the bus ect even though we were no longer ‘best mates’.However six months ago my mum came home from work and told me she was very ill with cancer in her back.(My mums workmates daughter is friends with Ann’s older sister)My mum keeps me updated with news but the last news was far from good.Ann was doing well on kemo when she caught a bug,her kemo had to be stopped and her chances of living dropped.Now this news has sank in I thought about going to see Ann but I’m just not sure.I’ve discussed it with my Dad and my boyfriend but I don’t think they have a very good out look on the situation.I also discussed it with my best mate who also knew Ann but no where near as closely as I did.I’m not sure what to do am totally torn.I’m not sure weather to write a letter just asking for her and weather she minds me coming to visit her. (My Dad thinks this is too impersonal.)OrIf I should phone her mum,ask how she’s doing ect and to ask Ann if she would like me to visit. (Am not very good on the phone I can barely hold a convo)Or If I should just leave well alone.I don’t want to seam like am nosy and prying or like am rubbing that I’m healthy in Ann’s face.Or as if am trying to get sympathy coz she is ill.I also kind of feel as if people would see it as if I have no right to go see her I kind of feel that myself.I also donno if Ann would want to see me.I just donno if she would want so see me that the thing I keep snagging on.Also what would I say??What do you say??What can you say??I’ve not spoke to my mum about this yet I know I should but it’s hard I don’t really know how I feel about it myself yet it‘s taken 6 moths for this to sink in and for me to even think about contacting her.I just don’t want to leave it until the decision is no longer mine to make but I don’t want to make an already fragile and upsetting situation worst. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, little miss helpful  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 i think you should deffenitly go see her lifes to short to think about what ifs and maybes. i think she would be really happy to see you and you could talk about the old times to try and cheer her up.
its not as if you feel out because of a argument you just driffted apart lots of people do.
plz plz plz go see her you wil regreat it if you dont.
take care.
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (3 October 2007):
 You used to be very close and i think you need to go and see her let her know that you still care for her if she is ill she needs all the love and support to get through this, and if the worse should happen then you will regret not seeing her, she is still your friend you still have a bond you need to see her dont worry about not knowing what to say it will come naturally, she may be ill but she is still your friend who you love and grew up with she will want to see you she is probably hurt that you havnt already just pop round one day im sure nobody will mind.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Hi Darling,
I have been in exactly the same postion as you. My friend Gilly lost her battle against cancer almost 12 years ago.
It took me a while to pluck up the courage to see her, and I was scared I would cry when I did.
But I cannot tell you how glad I am that I did. Yes she did look ill, and was slightly loosing her memory. But not her sense of humour.
It was great to see her again, we all went out for dinner, (me Gilly and all our oldest friends). I never regret seeing her, I just wish she were still here. She was such a brave and amazing person.
Go see you mate, you wont get the chance much more. She will be glad you did. XXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): It will upset you but you will feel better for doing it. I think you should make the effort to visit her. A few kind words can do someone in her situation the world of good.
Be honest with her. You heard that she was ill and felt that you had to see her as once you were so close. Ask how she is coping, if there is anything you can do to contribute to making her life easier (shopping etc) Help her to enjoy the time that she has got. You never know, treatment and a good friend nearby might give har a more fulfilled, longer life.
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