A
female
age
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*ennjenn
writes:Creep or love connection??17 years ago I was raising 3 great kids, but married to an alcoholic.. Not in a happy place. I worked at a resturaunt/store, and a local buisness owner who alway's treated me very nicely began really notcing me. Fast forward 5 years and he's in the store everyday, and the chemistry between us crazy. 2 years later we talking on the phone on my day's off, and eventually meeting once a month to talk. We never had sex, yes we kissed and admired each other. I fell in love. We never said the words to each other, but my instincts told me he felt the same way. His marriage and family were younger than mine. My marriage a bust, and I didn't see any way we could be together. I felt incredibly bad about what we were doing to his young family. I broke it off. He said I was stronger than he was. We agreed that we had no regrets, and he would always care and think well of me., and eventually had to leave my job. I was more hurt about him than when I ended my marriage.Bare with me here....2010, And I'm back working at the resturaunt.. I am scared to death... He's still coming in, we're very polite and kind but that chemistry is still there. I love my new husband, we have a great life. I would never dishonor him by cheating. But I can't forget the stuff that is there every time that guy is around. He knew when I was single, he could have contacted me, but he didn't.When he comes into the resturaunt he makes a point to say hi, and sometimes he lookes at me a little longer than he should. I resent the feelings that are there. Sometimes I try to avoid him. I just want to live my life.What are your thoughts??
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female
reader, jennjenn +, writes (2 October 2010):
jennjenn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your very differentAnswers! Both had merit, but I appreciateThe nonjudgemental best :D . You are right,And I plan to follow exactly what you advise.Being passive is the same as being guilty. I need to appreciate the past for what it wasMove on and make sure there is NO doubt that I amHappy and have no interest in being other thanThe great partner my husband deserves. Thanks a bunch, this is not something I couldHave discussed with anyone close to me...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): No body here has a right to judge your actions or what has happened in your life-we live and learn and in life if we didn't make mistakes we wouldn't learn anything, so life would be a bit pointless!I'm very glad you got out of an unhappy marriage and now have a new husband who treats you well.For now I think that perhaps there is still chemistry with you and the other guy, but as you said he knew when you were single and could have got in touch but didn't. From what you say I can only make an assumption but he seems the type of guy who will never leave his wife and family but would happily have a little bit of fun on the side.If I were you, continue to say hi to this man as he played a part in your past. But when those feelings for him rise up remember that you were in a different position back then and actually now have no reason to give those feelings to anyone else but the man you have married.If he makes things awkward, talk about your new husband and things you have done with him recently e.g a nice holiday, decorated...any old nonsense to show this guy that you are happy and have moved on.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Well first of no matter what your first husband was like you should never ever have cheated on him, especially with a married man, that was just really wrong, and karma goes what comes around goes around, and quite possibly now that you are happily married and found a nice man this is coming back to haunt you, i hope you make better desicions this time. I guess all you can really do in this situation is be polite to this man when he comes in to the restaurant but only because it is your job to be polite. Try and think of how happy you are with your husband and however hard try not to think of the feelings you have for this man, as they will just ruin your life.
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