A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:me and my guy have been together for 4yrs we have a son aged 3 and kids from previous relationships,the last year aint been so good between us a lot of arguments and ive been the one whom has done all the running to patch things up due to the fact that im inlove with him and want him.lastnight i confronted him as to why he`s been ignoring me all week and even now i dont know,he did mention something about an issue i thought we had resolved as he accepted my explaination and said thanx love,at his house i had to enter it to get a taxi home,we got into an argument after he called me a slut and i threatened to stab him with the scissors i saw on the side which i did not pick up or go near,i then went up to him and he grabbed me by my hair in the struggle we ended up on the sette where he continously punched me on my body and then my face grabbing at my face with his other hand,his son came and got him off me and in anger i was in his sons face and he once again attacked me grabbing my face with both hands and his son stopped him again,my body is full of bruises and my cheekbone is fractured along with a beautiful blackeye,i know its all my fault as he is very placid exept for his sulking,i still love him despite all this am i mad?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): What is 90% ? Do you tell him everything?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): for the anon females,it takes two to make a relationship work,im always ready to throw in everything i have as i truly love this guy,but he only ever wants to put in 90%
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): This needs sorting asap. That means both listening. To the poster of this. Your points have been read,but i honestly dont think you have a spare thought for your guy. Its far too long a story to resolve here. But you need to accept him warts and all or get out. You describe yourself as a good loyal partner,yet try and turn the world against him.If he believes your cheating,then he must have seen something suspicious himself. I have the feeling this is the cause of it. Do stop trying to gather sympathy and get on with making it work or getting out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Take no notice of the anon male underneath.Unhelpful rubbish. You simply have a bad effect on each other. Seek outside help or end your relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): male anon if this lady is so violent and has caused so much damage to your car and home how come you have survived 4yrs,maybe there is two sides to every story,but it seems you enjoyed beating on her,your a coward and a bully shame on you,you give nice guys a bad name
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): To Both posters
Not surprised to hear this both of you atre a disgrace as parents, split us asap get help this is not love one of you is going to be arrested and having both your kiddies witness this it outrages. grow up both of you no one deserves to live like this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): it goes to show theres two sides to every story.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I AM THE SO CALLED BEATER HERE. I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED AND HAD MY CAR AND HOME DAMAGED SEVERAL TIMES BY THIS WOMAN. BASICALY EVERYTIME SHE CANT BACK UP HER ARGUMENT SHE HAS TURNED IT INTO VIOLENCE AND VANDALISM. THIS INCLUDED PUNCHING ME HARD IN THE MOUTH WHILST I WAS DRIVING THE CAR.THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY. YES,IAM GUILTY BECAUSE THIS TIME SHE GOT AS GOOD AS SHE GAVE. SHE HAS BEEN VERY PROUD OF HER HARD REPUTATION AROUND TOWN AND HAS EXAGERATED THIS,EXPECIALY THE FRACTURED CHEEKBONE. WHEN SHE MENTIONED THE SCISSORS I SAW RED. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF IT. ALL I DID WAS GIVE HER SOFT PUNCHES TO HER ARMS SO SHE COULDNT REPEAT HER VANDALISM ON MY PROPERTY OR INJURE ME. SHE HASNT MENTIONED THE TIME HER OWN DAUGHTER WAS SHOUTING PLEASE STOP. MUM GET OFF HIM. VERY QUICK TO MENTION MY SON,WHO I AM GLAD TO SAY STOPPED IT BEFORE IT GOT HELL OF A LOT WORSE. (Mod note: Please dont write in capitals, it makes posts difficult to read)
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A
male
reader, flawedguy127  +, writes (18 November 2007):
You are not mad for loving him. Love is too powerful an emotion to be destroyed by an act of violence, or even an act of murder. On that note, you would, without a doubt, be insane for staying with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Hi poster
just read your update you can recover from this you just feel bad as you split your family up for nothing, you have learned a hard leason but don't beat yourself up aboput it you have enough on your plate. put yourself and your kiddies first this guy is no use never will be do not go back please as he will do it again. get back on tlaking terms with your family do not hide this as this is what he wants you to do, do not accept his behaviour you know its wrong please be strong stay on this site as i am sure there will be lots of answers that will encourage you to do the right thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): poster
even if you had cheated you do not deserve to be beaton please listen, he is no good for you ounce he has done this there is no going back. You are blamming yourself classic sign do you think you deserve to be beaton black & blue? get some help as advised and take care of yourself
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): i have bent over backwards for this guy,even my family was forced to choose and they decided to go with me and my heart for the love i felt for him,i now have to tell them our family was split in two all for nothing,i worked so hard to make it work but you cant make it work on your own,every week he finished with me for whatever reason and i begged and pleaded with him to take me back,well this time i wont,never did i claim i was perfect but i was a good and loyal partner whom gave him nothing less than my love and he just threw it away like it was rubbish
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): thank you all for giving your answers but let me inform you all that i have not cheated ever there is no evidence of me cheating just his paranoia,he thinks very deeply about anything he believes is true never have i been given benefit of doubt,yet he can have a photo of an unknown female in his phone and tells me its a friend of his son,but i never accused him of cheating with her because i believe what we once had was good and his i dont care attitude spoilt that
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Its a shame you both couldnt execise the same maturity his son did. I would without doubt call it a day.You admit you were violent to each other. You threatened him with scissors,you need to see a shrink asap. Dont assume just because your female that you can do what the hell you like because there are men who will thump you still.
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A
male
reader, g man  +, writes (18 November 2007):
Ms anon, You are a very bad match. Time you and he call it quits. Please dont threaten man with scissors,this will make you equal in your wrongs.I hope you both find inner peace elsewhere.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): One things for sure,you may have convinced yourself he`s over your past issues but he certainly isnt.Its time to call it a day. I presume you have cheated on him,well the next time you cheat it could end up a lot worse than it has this time.Dont go trying to resolve anything. You are a wrongly matched couple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Infidelity can turn the softest person into a raging lunatic. I guess this is whats caused it. Its time for you to break permanently. If he is of a placid nature,this does prove that you are bad for him. For heavens sake call it a day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): i hope this guy is proud of himself,leaving you with injuries of this kind the visible ones will go but the emotional ones will stay with you forever, be strong
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): dont ever say it was your fault,seems he must of enjoyed attacking you as you say his son twice stopped him from beating you and causing more injuries.i can accept he may of attacked you out of fear for himself but to attack you a second time was sheer bullying did you or have you informed the police no matter what cause this violence surely he cant believe that his behaviour was provoked by your empty threats,his son must be disgusted knowing his father is capable of such violence towards you,try and resolve this peacefuly and think about your child he needs you both whilst growing up
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Firstly,why did he call you slut? Have you cheated? Whatever you think is resolved definately isnt in his case. Your explanations whether true or false shouldnt end up like this. There is no need for violence by either of you. At your age its time to grow up. If you stay together i dread to think how ugly it will get.I would advise you both to keep away from each other.If he is normaly placid then what sparked him? Being threatened with scissors shows you are just as bad. Yes you are mad.So is he.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): You both need to grow up. What was his reason for calling you a slut? This past issue may be resolved to you but it`s not to him? You threatened to stab him with scissors? Is this the sort of behavior hes become accustomed to? You both need to run the opposite way because it sounds to me that you are as bad as each other.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): Have you heard of Domestic Violence!!!
you threatend to stab him with scissors because he called you a slut dear god at your age walk no run away as fast as you can.
He can be the best guy in the world but when he hits you thats it no second chances be done with this for all your sakes before anything desperate happens. Get yourself to your gp to get checked, so sorry this happened to you but you did not ask for him to do this.
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