A
female
age
36-40,
*OG
writes:I am a female in her mid twenties studying at university. I have considered myself, on the whole to be straight and have had one or two major boyfriends. Now, if asked, I might say I was bisexual. Might. Last year I met a girl on my course and we got along well as per usual. then a few months later at a party we got drunk and slept together. Since then I've been dwelling on it and I think that I have feelings for her that I don't want to have. I spoke to her about the event, but she seems more laid back than me about it all and just laughed it off. We've never spoken about it since. I have noticed that since then, when we go out in a group, I get jealous and angry when I'm not with her. I have had several drunken outbursts where I've just been generally angry but managed to avoid telling anyone the real reason. when she doesn't speak to me I just end up going home because I feel so annoyed at myself for caring more than she does and for all this being about somebody of the same sex! The truth is, I'm angry at her because she's not male. I'm angry at myself for allowing myself to do whatever she says even when I think she's posibly taking advantage. My anger is building and building; I now barely speak to her and avoid talking with her. I avoid friends who live with her. When I do have to speak to her the anger just turns straight back into keeness to be with her and do things to make her happy, whilst inside I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Help - I'm worried I'm going to lose control of my anger or that I'm going to make a fool of myself or alienate my friends.
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female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (16 February 2011):
 First of all there is nothing wrong with having feelings for someon of the same sex but i understand how confusing it can be, especially if it is the first time it has happened to you. It also does not help that she seems to not be as bothered by this as you. Do you know if she is staight or bi or gay? that may explain hwr behaviour.
So you lol, the anger isnt good and not healthy for you, but understandable, nobody likes to feel used or like they are the only one that has feeling towards another person. From what you have said it does not sound like she has feelings for you, but that is only a guess from what you have said there. I would suggest that maybe distancing yourself from her for a bit may be best for you, as it will give you time to get past these feelings and also to get your head around having feelings for another women in general, because if you like it or not that is what you having, feelings for another woman.
What you dont want is to push other people away and lose your mates, so dont push everyone away and dont avoid places that she will be, just keep a distance and dont do things for her you dont want or let her talk you in to things.
I really hope this helps some.
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