A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a Canadian citizen who recently found out Im preganant with my American boyfriends child. After discussing the pregnancy with him he has expressed that he'd like the baby to be born in the US however because Im not a citizen the matter of health insurence bothers me. In Canada Im covered under healthcare for both me and the baby which seems like the financially responsible decision to me. I want both of us to be equally involved as parents but I have no means of moving to the US and being able to support myself or my child yet as far as work would be concerned, do I risk being unemployed in a new country? It'd be just as hard for him to find a well paid job here as well. I feel like we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any ideas or suggestions? My boyfriend has just as much right as the father, how do I make a decision that might keep him from his child (time/distance)? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Captain Ziggy +, writes (22 February 2011):
 You have to take his feelings into account. It's his child too.
I understand the patriotism, we Canadians are some of the best eh! But if its feasible to have the baby in the States, then you owe it to him to consider it.
You should very much be concerned with the finances, you do not want to incur any debt in the US, and you sure as hell don't want to be completely dependent on him for support in a country thats not your own. If you are still in school or whatever, and are not in a position where you could move there and find a career, then I would suggest you stay in Canada. Financially its much easier, you will incur no debt, you will gain money, and Canada has a wealth of opportunities for single or unmarried mothers. I really don't think it would be a good decision for you to go to the US and rack up thousands of dollars in debt when you can stay in Canada and have it all covered - you really need to think about that.
If you're worried about the relationship that the baby would have with its father when they live so far apart, I wouldn't be too concerned about it. I've got a boy of my own, mother and I broke up. Its not a big deal of your boyfriend misses some of the kids life when its just a baby, when they're babies they don't do much, they just need someone there to feed and change them lol. It will be nine months before the baby is born. It's more important for both of you to concentrate on school or a career now and while hes just a baby. Both you and your boyfriend will have ample time in the child's life regardless of what you do.
Good luck either way! Think positive.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): I'm an American woman whose spent time in Canada and observed your health system. Please have the child in your country. Not only is it financially responsible, it is the most responsible choice for the health of your child. If your boyfriend is concerned about the nationality of the kid, paper work for your child's naturalization can wait until he/she is born. If you are not a spouse or directly related to your boyfriend, it is virtually impossible for him to put you on any health care plan he might (or might not) have. Your pregnancy will likely be considered a "preexisting condition" and it will be prohibitively expensive to purchase a plan. Ask him for the details of his health insurance and if time permits for paper work, ask him to marry you immediatley. I don't really see any other way to responsibly have the child in the US. Otherwise, have the child in Canada and bring her/him over. Good luck.
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