A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi my wife just told me she is pregant with our third.I told her a dont want her to have it because bringing another child into the world is alot of money and other things intrest rate ect. Times are harder,I know it takes two to have a baby not making it her fault. I just think we have two kids we dont need another. Im i wrong to tell her we should not have this child
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): Thanks ladys for all your help. But on Saturday my wife misscarried.We had dicided to keep the baby too. But I've been told things happen for a reason.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): Hi
You just sound very worried to me and sound like a nice guy...it's not my place to judge either way, but i would ask can money ever be put on a childs head? you know that once that little son or daughter is here you will love them and they will love their dad & Mom and will bring many happy years to the family and one day hopefully grandchildren, when your an old geezer that doesnt give a shit about interst rates and bills...because you will know what is more important and remember that one day you just got a little panicky. i just had a image of you sat in a beautiful garden overlooking the sea..a little cobbled boat... blanket on the knee and been surrounded by love your children and children;s children....celebrating your birthday and you will most definately know the TRUE VALUE in life and think of the kid brother or sister you will give to your other children you give them a gift, give your self a gift and give the gift of life to your baby. I wish i had, that visions too late for me but not for you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 I think that you should look down the road a bit, and think about where you might be then. I think that you and your wife especially might deeply regret terminating the pregnancy simply for financial reasons. I would expect a great deal of guilt over that might arise, if things improve for you in the future.
If there were other circumstances that were hardships in your lives, I might be giving you a different opinion. But worrying about the economy isn't really a great reason not to have a baby. The interest rate has nothing to do with raising a happy healthy child. Children don't need as much stuff--material things--as they need loving and committed parents.
At this point, having had 2 children already, you should have plenty of clothes and children's toys and prams and furniture. For the first year or so, mother's milk is best, I believe. You'll need diapers, of course, and at some point in the future, you'll need to consider what you spend on education.
If I were you, I'd sit down and do a proper budget, rather than just speak in general terms. But ultimately, I'm not sure you can put a value on the bond between mother and child, and father and child.
I'm of the opinion that a woman should have the right to choose whether or not to have a child, so I don't have an issue with choosing an abortion. But for the reason you specify here, a bad economy just doesn't sound a good enough reason to terminate, especially if your wife does not want to.
Good luck with whatever you and she decide.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): My ex-husband and I found ourselves in your position. With 2 kids under 3 I fell pregnant again by accident despite birth control. I really was the one who said no way and my husband said do what you like I dont care. Our marriage was not very strong and I didnt think it fair to bring another child into it. I regretted the termination the minute I came round from theatre, it split us up eventually and he even said I will never forgive you for killing our child.13 years later I still regret it although it was maybe the right thing to do - my ex-husband was violent but I look at people with three kids and think that should be me, other people manage with three. We already had all the baby equipment would one more really have cost so much, probably not. I dont want to come on strong but it haunts me to this day that I killed a child who would have been born into a marriage and despite our problems would have been loved. I was not offered any counselling or asked any questions I went in and said I dont want this baby and nobody questioned it or asked me if it was what I really wanted, just booked me in for a week later to have it done. I firmly believe if someone had given me a good talking to I would have had that baby, in my heart its a girl and I still feel sad when what would have been my due date comes round each year. I look at my other children and think what if I had got rid of them.This has happened now and you are married, if its a loving relationship and you force your wife you could end up losing her and your two kids. I hope you can make the right decision here and not feel like me and my ex have for the last 13 years, I wouldnt wish this guilt on anyone
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