A
female
age
51-59,
*arksgirl4ever
writes:My boyfriend of almost six years is in prison for dui-related offenses that happened years ago. We have broken up off and on due to trust issues. When he went to prison he asked me to move all his stuff into my storage shed and gave me his bank account numbers, etc. to handle his bills for him. We wrote regularly and I went to see him often. He spoke of marriage but I thought he was just lonely. I wanted to see how things would go when he got out. I tried to be very supportive and help him stay positive. However, one day at visitation I let it slip that marriage wasn't an option because he is an alcoholic and I have young children. I do want to marry him, but I think I hurt his feelings. Anyway, he called me the next day and said we needed to talk the next week at visitation. Then the day after he called and said "forget it, I don't want to work this out." He then took me off his visitation list. Yet he told me he wants me to keep his stuff and keep paying his bills. He has just under 6 months left of his sentence. I really love him and would like to try to make this work when he gets out. I wrote him several letters trying to explain myself to him but he hasn't responded. I decided to back off and wait to see if I hear from him but this is driving me crazy. I am hanging onto the hope that because he wanted me to keep his stuff and handle his bills, he still must trust me. I want to work this out with him, but being in prison and not able to talk to him or see him is difficult. I know he has read my letters though because his mother told me he did. I try to remind myself that if he really loves me like he said he does, he won't let this come between us. Am I wrong to hold onto that hope? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Hun, I have no doubt your bf trusts you with his stuff and his money... but please remember no matter how much you love him... If he is an alcoholic love is NOT going to change that.
When he comes out and if he still wants to be with you, tell him he has to join AA and only when he can prove that he has given up drinking will you consider a relationship with him.
Being with a guy who is an alcoholic is no fun, so think carefully before you commit to anything.
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