A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend has just told me he thinks we dont have sex enough and i never initiate it. its true that we only have sex once a week but the thing is we never, and i mean never, go to bed at the same time. I start work early in the morning so i always go to bed before him as i need the sleep so the only time we get together is in the evening when we're eating dinner and i just dont get in the mood around that time. what can i do? am i wrong in not wanting sex before 9pm?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): At your age, the day and time shouldn't even come into play. You two need to loosen up a bit... morning sex, nooners, mid day romps... all are quite normal and healthy. I'd also suggest that you start asking for sex and trying to see what you can do to get yourself motivated (or turned one) enough to do this!I'd also start looking for places other than the bed to make love... tub, shower, couch, living room floor... mix it up. At you're age, he's likely to want variety, and seek it else where if not at home.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009): I second what Gina said and have another suggestion. For instance, if you go to bed at 9 and he goes to bed at 11, then you could both go to bed at like 8 or 8:30 and have sex then. Then cuddle until you fall asleep. After you are asleep then he can get up and do whatever he normally does and then come back to bed at his normal time.
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A
male
reader, wherestheinstructions? +, writes (5 September 2009):
Does the bed and the house have to be the only place you have sex ?
Have you suggested he come to bed with you earlier one night each week - you choose it randomly and surprise him each time.
Do you work far away from him - is there the option of meeting him for a quickie during your lunch break ?
Talk to him, make some suggestions of what would work for you and ask him what ideas he has - if you can't talk, then things won't improve.
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