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writes: I don't remember what that joke was, but i was judged on my response to it. A friend made this joke and upon my not laughing and saying something like "oh, uhhuh." he decided I am not intuitive. He told this to my husband. But that's an annoying way to judge something like intuition. Intuition is based on that person's reasoning process. Intuition listens and conforms to no norms. It is really a difficult thing to judge in another person. That's like trying to say you understand someone's cognition. there is no way to fully understand the process of thinking that someone just went through in order to come up with a conclusion. I asked someone what she thought, if she thought I seemed intuitive and she said that it's hard to tell with me because I am so lax about everything. It's very plausible to say that I possible simply did not respond to John's joke. People often mistake me facial expressions for incomprehension after a joke is told. That happened with my mom last week. I heard a joke and cocked my head, and she looked at me and proceeded to go into greater detail in attempt to EXPLAIN the joke. The punch line, explain the punch line and the meaning behind the joke, um...lol? I fully understood the joke, but guess what? Yeah, it wasn't actaully funny. I tend to find natural occurrences in everyday life and witty dialogue much more entertaining than. I don't pretend to be amused by something that I do not find amusing. Sorry. And often times, what's funny to other people is not to me and vice versa. Anyway…it's such a simple thing but for some reason it had such an effect on me. You may have heard of this theory of socialization: "The looking-glass theory?" If not, it's basically a theory defining the process that people go through in developing an image of themselves based on what they think others think of them. Like other peope are mirrors reflecting the image that's projected. And I'm not trying to whip out some book-smart bulls**t on you. I'm just saying that his saying that is like looking in a mirror everyday but one day I look and I don't see either what I thought I looked like or what I wanted to look like. And then it's like "is that really what I look like to other people?" It may seem silly to care so much about what other people think of me but all those who surround me do make up who I am, whether I like it or not. Their opinions and idea have a way of constructing what I end up doing. Does that make sense? A lot of people look down on those who care what others think, but if I'm not going to make any effort toward others' preferences, then there's no point in their even existing. And in people who have an entirely apathetic tone to peoples' opinions, I think it can be safely said that there lies a lack of consideration and a lack of social skills. I don't know anyone who fits this description; even when they say they don't give a flying pickle, I read past that. I don't believe that. Maybe they think they do but, you know that saying: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? ..It's BS. Words can hurt more than anything else in the world. And now don't get me wrong. I have no resentment toward this person.. this friend who said i'm not intuitive, whatsoever, but I must say that in his judgment, my being much less humoured by a joke with a setup and a punch line which was most likely crude anyway (and crude jokes tend to hold no humour for me) than human interaction and saying what witty things naturally come to mind, I do not "have that" intuition. I do not have an ability to correctly perceive what goes on around me… And that is such a measly judgment, and that, in itself, severely lacks intuition. I'm certainly not saying that he has none, because I have no idea, but just what he said shows no sign of it. His saying that had a greater impact than if he had made a comment about my hair colour being blonde or my being ditsy and stupid because I know how book smart I am. If I ever wanna prove it, I can write an essay or fill out a stupid worksheet. Anyone can tell how smart a person is. But my intelligence, (because the smartness and intelligence are completely different) and my intuition is something that very, very few people on this planet have a right to place a judgment on. Someone who doesn't even know my last name cannot possible think he can read that deeply into me by my reaction to a joke and whatever else he pulled that from that night. …Such a simple thing… but really, it explores personal philosophy. If he didn't mean it in this way at, he should be a little more diligent in choosing his words. That goes right back to that BS saying.I am not happy with myself in every way, but internally, i am fairly satisfied. I have my head on straight for the most part.~Sy. Reply to this Article
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh i figured it out. Quarky left a comment on my other artical. I just got mixed up.
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reader, Quacked  +, writes (29 July 2009):
 Thank you. No need to apologise, quarky isn't a bad name, i don't mind. Take care.
Quacked
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd same to you. If you ever need a PM. Also, I apologize that i called you quarky.. as you may read on my profile, I have very poor eyesite. Although evenstill, i'm not sure how I misread that.
~Sincerely
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reader, Quacked +, writes (29 July 2009):
Next time this comes up and you get all worked up just think about how his reaction to your non reaction highlights his lack of intuition and ever so slight inferiority when it comes to intelligence lol. Failing then you can always let off steam and rant it to me - i'll listen.
You have support should you want/need it in the future.
Yours,
Quacked
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You Quarky, for reading my articals.. I know they're long and draining so I do appreciate it.
I'm glad to have your support!
It is more infuriating when we are judged on things that represent deep, meaningful human characteristics. Someone may look at your clothing and decide you're a "prep" or a "goth" or a "redneck" and who cares. Those are judgements we set ourselves up for. But to be myself.. myself and no one else by keeping quite when i'm not amused and to be called unintuitive is more insulting. A deeper judgement than my clothing or hair. This happened a while ago but It was recently brought up and I got worked up all over again.. lol. It was less than a year ago, but before I was married. All because of this joke, this "friend" told me Boyfriend that He should break it off with me before it got worse. That I was not his type because he is incredeibly intelligent and I am not. He stood up for me of course, but..
Here's to hopeing No one else tells a dull joke upon first meeting me!
All my love.
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reader, Quacked +, writes (28 July 2009):
First off you are not wrong in anyway shape or form. How can you possibly judge someone in anyway from their reaction to a joke?! It says nothing about you as a person. Its even more strange that this guy judges your intuition by a reaction to his joke. What does intuition have to do with it?! As you say you did get it, it just wasn't funny. I like you do not fake laugh just to conform...if its not funny i dont laugh. Society is so very warped that we must conform in every single way lest we be judged. In terms of jokes, if we dont laugh we are judged to be stupid, or we didnt understand, or we are rude, or apparently lack intuition.That said im sure the guy in question didn't mean to offend as harshly as he did. Shrug it off or fake it. If someone is trying to be funny act like it is. It was just one event and this guy (no doubt) will have forgotten it by now and will possibly try to tell you another non funny joke in the future. Those around us do affect us as you say, sometimes its necessary to lie to avoid such moments and judgments as you have experienced.
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