A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am at home for a week i have been away at school... i spent time with my boyfriend this weekend but it didnt seem like enough time... now i dont want to be the clingy selfish girlfriend so i didnt mention wanting to spend more time with him when he decided that he wanted to hang out with his friends instead of me... even though he did have death in the family i felt like maybe he needed time for himself i dont know though i just wanted to spend a lot of time with him... considering the fact that i am going back off to school..i just feel like he has every weekend to hang out with his friends but he chooses this weekend , the weekend that im home to spend time with friends.. am i wrong for wanting to spend time with him?.. this week hes working all week so im not sure if ill be able to see him .. this weekend im leaving so im not sure if i should ask him could he make time for me during the week..i dont want to come off as being to needy... so my question is should i tell him i want to see him this week or wait to see if he mentions anything about us seeing each other Reply to this Question
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (8 March 2011):
 The problem here is not him being an insensitive jerk that went out with his friends instead of spending time with you,nor that you are being to needy and/or clingy.The problem is that you didn't talk to him about what you expected before you came home for the week. So you got disappointed. And he has no clue that your upset about it.It is a good thing that he has a life for himself while your gone, or else he'd be driving you nuts calling you constantly, texting ect. and possibly acting insecure about what your doing all the time and who you are doing it with. Which could very easily interfer with your school work and other college activities.Would it have been nice if he dropped everything else including his friends and normal activities whenever you come back for a visit, yes but that is not realistic.So what you need to do is talk to him about your expectations in advance and compromise with each other until you come up with a plan that you both can live with.As for the rest of the week just call him tell him you want to discuss your schedules for the rest of the week so you can make plans with your other friends and family around the times that you'd like to spend with him. And remember since it is being planned last minute he may not be as free as you would have liked him to be. But you can work on it and do better the next time you are home.Hopefully with this approach you will see him make a real effort to spend as much time with you as he can around work and will cut back a bit on the time he usually spends with his friends for the rest of the week.If he doesn't just be honest with him and say that you are really disappointed, and thought he would want to spend more time with you since you'll be gone again in a week.
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