A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im really confused about this guy.He says he is scared of a relationship and doesnt want one,but to me I think a relationship is pretty close to what we have already been doing,except without the title! Let me explain some of the details with my situation.I first met him last Decemeber,so almost a year ago.In that time we have been intimate.We live about 45 minutes apart and he has always went out of his way to come see me,not just for sex because a lot of times we just went places together and didnt even have sex.When we go out,he always is very sweet and acts as though a guy would act towards a girlfriend or somebody who he WANTS to be his girlfriend.He has held my hand and things when we were in public,so its not like your normal player type guy who doesnt want to be seen with a woman because he has 10 others who might see him with her.We took a 4 day vacation together over the summer.For my birthday he bought designer perfume and a rose,and got us tickets to see a musical.and a card in which he wrote "love" before his name.He always says and does sweet things out of the blue,and made me feel like he must have cared in some way.But,Ive come to find that he apparently doesnt.Or does he? Am I reading too much into his actions? I cant put the pieces together with this one.Right now there is a huge breakdown of communication,mainly because I know it makes him uncomfortable so I avoid the topic.I told him we have to be just friends because this situation makes me uncomfortable.We talked about it very briefly.And right now we arent talking as much because of my feelings....I feel as though ive been lied to or played for a fool in a way,and I guess im a little upset with him.So I dont really feel like being as chatty with him.Am I wrong for thinking we had something going? And if he did have any feelings why is he so easily letting me go? As far as I can tell,he doesnt seem the least bit upset by it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): You have every right to protect yourself, emotionally. I think it best that you stay away from him, he is obviously hiding something. You would be surprised what someone can hide when you don't live with them. He could be carrying on multiple relationships, have some kind of out of control addiction...all speculations, but the bottom line is he doesn't want you getting any closer than you are right now. There is no future in this.
Put your arms around yourself and give a big hug :) There is nothing wrong with you, it is him that's messed up.
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