A
female
age
30-35,
*iethuni228
writes:My boyfriend and I have just made 4 months yesterday. We didn't get to spend much time together like we planned because he had to go to his step father's graduation and I had school all day. Last month on our 3 months we didn't spend much time together either. As a matter of fact we had our biggest fight ever and we both went home mad. That time was kinda my fault because I went to my friend's house to help her with a party she was having and it took up most of the day. Where as I could have told her no and spent time with him. Bad thing is that I already promised her ahead i would help her plan. But this time on our 4 months it was actually his fault to my opinion but I didn't make a big deal out of it. I tried not to show that it bothered me much. He spent the whole day running around doing other stuff and I sat around doing nothing all day. I think he could tell I was upset but then I don't think he knew why. Afterwards we finally got a chance to spend time together and we ended up having to pick up his brother from work. That kind of ruined everything and I got really really really upset at this point but he doesn't think anything was wrong. But then we had maybe 20 minutes together the whole day and we ended up having sex and it was like a lilquikie and it was stupid.am i wrong for being mad at him. should i talk to him about it? What do i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 I think you may be putting too much emphasis on the anniversary dates. They are important, but so are the other things in life, like school, and graduations, and doctors appointments and all those events that can keep people from being with the ones they love. It's not that they don't love them, it's that they can't be in two places at one time.
I also happen to think that expecting him to read your mind and know why you're upset is being a bit immature. Men are not mind-readers, and it's counterproductive to expect them to know what it is that's upsetting you if you don't tell them. You just work yourself up more and more and he just gets bewildered. Then when you do finally tell him his horrible sin, he'll wonder why you just didn't tell him in the first place. You said you didn't make a big deal about it, but then you went ahead and got yourself upset.
Trust me, it is better to be clear about what your feelings are and it is also essential that you understand that he may not be able to fulfill every wish, even on something like an anniversary.
In my observation, some of the strongest couples I know don't pay much attention to anniversary dates, as their relationship is a little celebration every day. Start focusing on the other 29 days in the month or even the other 364 days of the year and realize that those are more important than a once a month or once a year dinners.
So I'd say, cut the guy some slack, and recognize that you may be exacerbating the situation by expecting certain things but not being clear about those expectations to him.
Just be honest without being dramatic. Guys prefer that, I've found.
Good luck. And you can always celebrate on another day.
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