A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a guy we have been together for about 2 months now. we have yet to have sex. I've known him for over 10 years we used to hate each other and now we are in love... weird right? ok well tonight we were talking and i asked him when the last time he had sex was and he said 2 months ago... i was shocked... i said well wait when i asked you that 2 months ago you had said 2 months ago so shouldn't it be 4 months and he said well before you became my girl i had sex 3 times... that pretty much turned me off. He just looked at me and said WHAT? we were only talking and feeling each other out you weren't my girl... Am I wrong for being jealous? I actually felt my heart start to freeze over when he said that... I haven't had sex in over a year for personal beliefs which he called me a liar but i really haven't...Anyways am i wrong?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2012): STIs happen. Lying about the past is not harmless, it's taking a risk with someone's health without their consent.
A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (20 January 2012):
This is a hard one.
Unless you both decided you were boyfriend and girlfriend, you really can't fault him for sleeping with someone else. He wasn't yours yet. Now if he slept with anyone after you decided to be more serious, that would be very different. But that's not what I see from your post.
As far as being jealous, you said it yourself, it's your personal beliefs to wait for a year. As for guys, it's very different. I think you might be expecting something from him that is just a bit too much.
On a good note the fact that you used to hate him is a very good thing. It shows that there were strong feelings before. I have a few friends who got married who were like that.
My suggestion is to talk it out, and realize that you were expecting things from him that wasn't fair. He might have lied to you because he knew you would be upset. Tell him you need to feel confident that he won't cheat. I think he can understand that. Good luck.
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