A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for a little over three years now, and for the most part our relationship is good.My problem is that for while now, (probably a year and a half), I have slowly started to have feelings for her sister. It's not a problem insomuch that it's not obvious to anyone and it doesn't affect me when we are all hanging out, or when I am alone with my girl.The problem is when I am by myself, I find myself questioning my relationship, going so far as to wonder if I am going out with the "right" sister.When I first met them, I hit it off with my girlfriend, and while her sister was nice enough, she was defensive and closed off. Now as I've gotten to know her better, I realize that the coldness was just a defense mechanism.My girl and her sister are like day and night. My girlfriend is grounded and restrained and has no opinions about the world at large. Her sister on the other hand is bubbley, exuberant and can actually hold intelligent indepth conversations. I find myself annoyed with my girlfriends grounded personality and find myself wishing she was more like her sister. I was orginally turned off by her sisters defensiveness, but now that she has opened up, I find her much more attractive seeing how her personality matches more with mine (and I also find her more physically appealling) and I am unsure how to proceedAt times it seems as though her sister likes me as well (though that might just be my overactive imagination).Do I ignore it as if it were just a phase? Do I tell my girl about it? Not tell my girl but tell her sister? Tell them both? Break up with my girl and try for her sister? Don't break up with my girl and try for her sister? (I'm not the cheating type though).Or Stay with my girl carry on as if theres nothing the matter and if something ended up happening deal with it when it happens? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): Don't go with her sister! If you're having strong feelings for another girl and you feel your girlfriend isn't the girl for you, there are other bubbly opinionated girls out there. Move on and forget about them both. If you've been with your girlfriend for 3 years you obviously care alot about eachtother. Going for her sister, whether she feels the same or not, would devestate your girlfriend. Believe me.
Hope it works out for you.
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