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Am I with the right person or should we make a clean break?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 April 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Am I with the right person?

I've been dating my high school sweet heart since senior year for 2 years.

I believe that this girl will be the best mother to any children she ever has and that is definitely one of her most attractive traits for me. After all, if I planned to marry someone, a motherly personality is a big up.

but

I feel that through the years of arguments, new discoveries and rocks overturned, that she was no longer in love with who she met that very first day, but that she had very much grown up on her own and is now trying to pull me up with her while i drag my feet.

The following are reasons why I am stuck and confused and kind of shaky. Not all reasons will be detailed for the sake of saving reading space.

She is my first love, and she has had more experience in the dating world. She despises my friends. She has completely different goals and future plans than I do except for when we would like kids. She is not very supportive of any ideas i may have. She's not interested in much of anything that I am except for going to parties, movies and eating out. I want to travel the world, when she moves out she wants to move 10 minutes away from her parents. I feel like she is over controlling in the way she always wins an argument( but that could just be all women). Also, because she despises my friends, I seldom see them anymore and I am with her at least 10 hours a day. My friends say they would love to hang out with her and me because at least they would have me there, they might regret her a little because she is why i dont hang out much more. I feel that I have lost some personality, after all, when she first met me, she met the guy that hung out with all his friends all the time.

I am only 20 years old. She is the same age and is planning on moving out of her house by the end of this year and taking me with her to split rent. I make $8/hour +tips Part time because i go to a community college. I want to move out eventually, but financially I guess i would just say it wouldn't be smart at all.

Someone please help, I could spend hours reading tips and advice, but I think this could help if it's more specific. thank you

also, if theres any more specifics that could help I could definitely go into more detail.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (7 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIt looks like your relationship is pulling apart at the seams .

How you handle it will make or break this relationship.

When two people choose to come together in a relationship,

there will be frictions and you need to have a give and take philosophy.

Seek the middle ground or compromise is the best course of action.

Love is the glue that gums you together.

Both of you are growing at different pace and it is like a

two horse cart , one pulling in the other directions.

Maybe, you should give each other some space to manoeuvre.

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