A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my long distance boyfriend , X, for 3 1/2 years now but im afraid im with him for the wrong reasons. He lives in one place, and i live in a state far away. Ive met his parents, hes met mine and its gone really well. His parents love me but my family doesnt reallly know him that well. They dont not like him, they just dont know him as well as X's parents know me. Part of it has to do with me visiting him in one place, more than he visits me in another state, because i can fly for free. He makes me feel happy, he makes me laugh, we are each others best friends but he's the only boyfriend I've had and I've had feelings of doubt of staying with him for a long time because I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I love him so much and I know he loves me. We trust each other, were honest with each other, were caring and respect each other and we have the same values. We're alike in many ways but were also different. What we have is real and I've always wondered if I'm with him because I feel lonely. I have friends but only a couple I really hang out with. And one of them is far away from me and the other one is spending time with another best friend she just met. So i guess I feel kinda lonely now but I'm wondering if I've always felt lonely and that's why I'm with X. I'm also with him because I could talk to him for hours, we could be doing nothing and I would have fun. I could stand in line with him at the DMV and not be bored. He makes me feel food about myself. I can be my crazy weird self around him and he still loves me. We are nothing but ourselves around each other and weve developed a bond where we both feel so connected to each other. But something is telling me you should experience other guys and try new things with new people and then see if X is the guy for you. I feel like I'm with him because I'm comfortable and I'm scared if we do break up, I won't find someone like him again. What do I do?
View related questions:
best friend, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 February 2013):
 two years is a long time....especially at your age..
I'm sensing that the relationship may not last that long...
BTW one of the best places for Computer jobs is mid-atlantic east coast.. (Virgina, Washington, Maryland, New York)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm 20 and he's 22. I've been with him since I was about 17. And I think you're right, it may be to avoid real life. I didn't think about that. And we've talked about a plan. He's going to school right now and so am I. He wants to move to California because he's studying computer science and he feels like there wil be more job opportunities here and before he met me hes always wanted to move to California. Unfortunately he's only in his first year of college after transferring from a community college. So it wil be at least 2 more years before he moves down here.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 February 2013):
You are very young for an LDR…. And 3.5 years is a long time for an LDR… usually I find when LDRs are with folks this young and this long, it’s being used as a way to avoid real life.
If you are happy why are you even worried about breaking up? What’s causing that?
BTW if you are 18 now you’ve been with him since you were 15 and that’s a huge difference in age… what you want and need at 15 is not what you want and need at 18… or any of the earlier ages… heck what you want at 21 is not what you want or need at 30….
So what’s the plan to end the distance…with no plan to end the distance you are playing games…and hiding from real life… you’re an adult now… it’s been 3.5 years… who’s moving to be with who and when?
...............................
|
