A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy through a mutual friend. i always knew the guy from high school. For about 2 months i was told that the guy was interested in me.from past dating experiences i was just more comfortable being by myself,so i really didn't pursue the guy. my number was given to him from a mutual friend. we talked , went on a couple of dates.Right away the connection was there.. i never connected to a guy like i did with this one. in the beginning it just seemed too good to be true. he was ready to meet both of my parents, Family gatherings he was there with me, we worked out together, i met his family including his mom. everything about him just seemed like this one was going to be the one. I found out i was pregnant. when i told him. We both initially agreed that we needed to atleast be engaged before we had a child so we decided to have the abortion. on that day he changed his mind and didnt want me to go through with it. i did because after finally getting my nerves together to go through with it I wasn't going to change my mind. i just wanted to get it behind me. up until that day we were doing good. After i did what i did everything has gone down hill. my emotions have been all over the place. we've been doing nothing but arguing.Now we're to the point where he is literally ignoring me!!! I've called, text, even gone to his apartment to try to talk to him and he didnt even answer the door. (which crushed me literally) I'll admit that i have said mean things to hurt his feelings but i've also gone through alot in the past 2 months with him and the ordeal that we've both had to go through! i did finally give up trying to talk to him because he wont say anything to me, and no one likes rejection. i stopped calling and texting period, its been 2 weeks now.. I'm dealing with my guilt from having an abortion, and him not saying anything to me at all.. I'm actually better than i was 2 weeks ago. before we both went through this he would text atleast 7 times a day tellin me he missed me or he was thinking about me, and he would also call every chance he got.. So it went from that to him ignoring me like he's doing. i am really puzzled wondering if he ever really cared now. All I've gone through did he really care.. Is there a chance for us to ever get back on the pattern where we were before all this happened? Right now I'm sitting still along with praying and crying. i haven't called or texted him in 2 weeks... and neither has he... im slowly healing but.... i still miss him....... I just want to start over and get back to where we started before this happened.Am i wasting my time? Did i really matter enough to him for him to make things work or should i just move on....... inquiring minds want to know
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male
reader, redneck9407 +, writes (14 February 2010):
Well with the fact that he wanted to not do the abortion says a lot. I do believe that he cared but however, because of the abortion he may feel as though you betrayed him for what ever reason. It is as well as was you choice as much as it was his. If it has been two weeks with out any contact or any attempts to contact each other try giving him a call and if he does not answer then leave a message telling him that you would like to start over and attempt to salvage what is left of the relationship. It may also help if you talked with a friend of his to see how he is doing. He may be feeling the say as you and may just not know how to show it. It is understandable to say hurtful things to one another when you are going through something like that but it also can hender the chance of being able to get back together with that person. I hope all work out!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): Hi,
I think he is hurting. He didnt want you to go through with the abortion and now he is punishing you. You went through a lot yes, but that was his child too. He has a right to grieve or hurt because of your decision. If you cant give him the respect and make a decision like that on your own, then maybe he is thinking in the future will you include his opinions/feelings/thoughts in major decisions? Give it time and he might come round.
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (14 February 2010):
 Hi there, Can I say firstly that I admire you for being strong and I wish you all the best.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this but it sounds from what you've wrote that you've had a lucky escape.
He's ignoring you cos he's lost control of you. He doesn't like it. He sounds like a control freak.
He was too full on from the beginning. He has no right to be acting the way he with you.
You should try to stop thinking of how to fix things and start thinking of what a future with a guy who acts like that every time things don't go his way will be like.
Whatever you do, don't contact him. Let him do it or you'll regret it.
Good luck x
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