A
female
age
36-40,
*inknalgene
writes:Dear Agony AuntsI am a 24 year old girl, had not been in a relationship before. In fact, my encounters with guys are limited, so much so that I don't really know how to handle them. Anyways, I met this guy (same age as me) a few months ago. He lives like 6 hours away but happened to be in town. My friend knows his friend and we (all of us) chatted for about an hour at this gathering. No numbers were exchanged and things ended there. A few weeks ago, my friend and I were in his town and his friend and him hosted us during our time there. (same group of people) So I got to know him a lot better, and at the end of our trip, I texted him and his friend to thank them for playing host. For a few weeks now, he has been text-ing me everyday or every other day. It started with stuff that we talked about during the trip, then moved on to random messages asking me what my plans for the weekends were. Now it has evolved into extremely short messages like "Monday tomorrow" (implying that he's dreading the start of the week). I reply to most of his messages but there's nothing much to text about since it is short text messaging. So after a few replies I will stop. Dear Aunts, what does this guy want? What is he trying to do? It has been a few weeks since we met and I am surprised (pleasantly) that he still keeps me in his mind. I was attracted to him when we were spending time together but I did not think that things could develop, due to the distance and that we have nothing much in common. But deep inside me, something or someone is telling me to reply to his messages, and that maybe after all the waiting, he is the one. Am I wasting my time thinking about him? Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): It is hard to let go of any nice attention we get but b/c of the distance and the lack of attachment that developed; I am not surprised interest waned to the point of just short texts... Don't waste your time; focus on what you might find as opposed to what little he gives you. Shoot him a text like: Hey if you ever get up this way look me up or keep in touch and maybe diary (every few months to shoot a text to him to see what's up). In other words change your mind. Demote him to a "slow moving" possibility (i.e.) put him on the back burner as something that could develop (but even it it did it will be on slow track) and find some front burner type people closer by. Sounds shallow (but protect your heart) and realize that even love is just a big game of life (it's one big marathon) pace yourself view it for what it is and you will be fine!
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