A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone. I've had loads of advice from you over the last few months. I split with my partner after being together for over 4 years. That was a couple of months ago. We didn't live together or anything - I have a son of 12 from a previous marriage and he has two sons aged 13 and 17. I didn't think I could see a future with him - the reason for which I'm not really sure of which I know sounds strange. We had drifted apart somehow towards the end of last year and I was finding more reasons not to spend time with him.I talked all this through with him and eventually called the relationship off. Now, however, I can't get rid of the doubt that I did the right thing. We both made mistakes in the relationship but in the end I think I questioned our compatability. We have been in touch by text now and again since the split and now we have a mutual friend that has recently died leaving a wife and young daughter. This has really made me question whether I did the right thing as probably 75% of the relationship was fine and do I want to throw away something that could work - we got on well, we could be ourselves and I know deep down that he's a good, honest guy that truely thinks the world of me. I know he still wants to try and work things out. What do I do? Am I trying to hold out for the 100% perfect relationship that probably doesn't exist or should I really see if we can start again and work through what we both want? Please help as my head's mashed.
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (20 June 2007):
 I've been seeing this girl, who, when I refused to make out with her on the second date, she found someone else and slept with him 3 days later! She's looking for a perfect relationship - but she's not gonna get one
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): Of course a 100% perfect relationship doesn't exist. Is there anything in the world that is 100% perfect? !!
People who look for perfection are afraid of intimacy, they do it because they unconsciously know they will never find that relationship so they will never really have to commit to someone, you are protecting yourself from being hurt. I would guess there is something in your past that is making you too critical of your relationships. Stop trying to put percentages on how good your relationships with people are. Interacting with people does not work like that. Either you can look at him and feel you can spend the rest of your life with him, or your gut feeling says he is not the guy for you.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (19 June 2007):
 I really don't think there is anything like a 100% relationship as much as we would all like one.
You obviously care very deeply for him and he does for you as you have said he would like to try and work things out, you could always try just dating again take things slow and see how it goes or you could spend the rest of your life regretting it and if you wait to long to make a decision he might well give up waiting and meet someone else and that will definately be the time you realise you really do want him and then it could be too late.
Take a chance in life as we only get one shot at it.
Take care.xx.
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