A
female
age
30-35,
*auredile
writes:My step-dad is a real jerk most of the time, and I've had ENOUGH...I'm good in school, I don't stay out late (if I ever get to go out, he never lets me), I dont usually yell back (lately I've been defending myself a lot more) and even my mom has threatened to leave him. I've got younger siblings too... I've decided that I need to move out. I'm NOT at all doing this to get revenge at my mother and siblings, I just think it's time for me to get out, before I do something stupid. I really think that getting away from all of the pain he causes me, will help me to recover and think better of myself....I can't begin to tell you all of the things he tells me, and when he yells at me..eeek. I really am NOT a selfish person... I just need some suggestions on how to start off... I've got a job, working about 40 hrs a week minimum wage... my friend and I are thinking of sharing an apartment together... but am I too young? I need help on how to do this! How much money should I be spending, What will I be spending ON? please please PLEASE help asap!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): Assuming minimum wage to be around $8.75 (it is in Ontario), although rent can really vary from city to city, you should be able to make about $1500/month. Hopefully renting a shared apartment doesn't set you back more than $600, and another $600 should be enough for most other expenses (i.e. bus pass, food, utilities, phone, going out on occasion). Of course, you'll need to make sure you spend prudently. Whereas living at home there aren't too many expenses, when living on your own each dollar is worth much more.Also, being 16-17, you'll probably want to live in a safer area, so that might make rent a bit higher.Those things are interchangeable, of course - if its going to cost you $400 a month to live an hour bus ride from work, or $500 to live right next door, you might be able to forgo a bus pass... you need to take all those kind of things in to account.Lastly, you should sit down with your mother and talk this out with her. Can she give you some money for the apartment? Is she planning on leaving him and moving somewhere else? Are there any friends or relatives you can stay with (at least until she does leave him)?I can't imagine what you're going through, but God bless.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): wow... you have your hands full. I think you are a little young to be thinking of moving into an apartment... but I do understand where you are coming from. I moved out of my parents home two months after I turned 18 and it was hard! But, you have to do what is best for you and if you honestly believe that moving out is the only way for you to get past the hurt and continue to be productive in life than you should go for it... but being under age you will need your parents consent, I suggest sitting down with JUST your mom and having a heart to heart with her. She might understand more than you think. But having said that, if you do move out and on your own... your money needs to be spent on your electric and/or gas bill, some type of basic phone service, RENT, water/sewer bill if your landlord doesn't pay that as part of the rental property, trash removal services if your landlord doesn't pay that as part of the rental property, Groceries, and all the household items you'll need for a house like dishes, bedding stuff, furniture, lamps, etc. Hold off on cable and internet and those types of things until you figure out what you can afford each month. Don't get into a situation where you are paying out more than 70% of what you bring home after taxes. Make sure if you do move out then, look at several apartments and talk to landlords before you jump right in, ask them questions and be sure you know what you are getting into. I will gladly help you in anyway if you need anything. Send me a message at [email address blocked] if you need anything even just someone to talk with and bounce ideas off of... I've been there, I know its hard.
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