A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I either have the opportunity of a lifetime or am just fooling myself, for the second time, by being too idealistic. Here's the situation:Two months ago, my boyfriend dumped me. His reasons were that he wanted more sex than time and the physical distance between us allowed and he instead was falling for a girl in one of his classes (we go to different colleges and live half an hour away from each other). I guess since they shared a class and live close by each other, it was more "convenient" for him. But he made a commitment to stay friends with me.So, we've been talking ever since the break-up, and recently we got into an intense conversation where we were more honest about our feelings about each other and life than we had ever been while we were dating. He said he wants to spend New Year's Eve with me. I'm ecstatic because I really like this guy. And even though it's unclear whether he's going to leave the girl he originally left me for before the holiday, I'm thinking (hoping, praying, and wishing) that this will be a chance to get back together and continue a relationship that never should have ended.Am I being too optimistic? This guy can go through girls like Wilt Chamberlain, but when we were together it seemed so real. Am I about to be used again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): Hey, this the original poster.
Thanks so much for all your answers. Even though they all speak of a reality I don't want to face, it's the truth and exactly what I needed to hear.
Thanks again! You guys are awesome.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): I think you can do better, to be honest. My boyfriend has a very high sex drive, but we're in a long-distance relationship (I'm in London and he's in Paris) and only get to see each other once every other month or so. Despite that, he's willing to hold on out his own sexual gratification for the sake of being in a relationship with *me* instead of another girl. Of course he misses the physical aspect - we both do! - but I know he'd never use that as a reason to get with someone else.
I'm sorry to say, but your ex sounds rather selfish and immature - and yes, a user. There are far worthier guys you could be meeting under the mistletoe on New Year's Eve, darling :) Good luck and take care x
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (11 December 2011):
I would suggest that the questions you are raising in YOUR OWN MIND are pertinent.
Question is : why don't you have a full, open discussion with HIM in which you try to guauge honestly what he thinks about all these things.
For starters why has he broken off with the other girl ?
Don't think he'll be suddenly content with a load less sex than he needed before : so what are the practicalities of that for the future ?
Bottom line being is what you each want from one another compatible mutually ? Or is he basically looking for a sexual needs satisfier while you are looking for an emotional needs satisfier ??
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (11 December 2011):
 Ooooo I would be very careful here. Don't invest too much hope in this guy as his reputation preceeds him. He sounds to me like he wants his cake and wants to eat it too.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 December 2011):
 haha wilt chamberlain... who ever he is any whoo.. Part of me wants to say fight for your man... but only a small part like the tip of my pinky. The whole rest of me says screw this guy he dumped you because he wasnt getting enough sex.. I say bull. Thats like saying you dumped out the last quarter tank of gas in your car because it wasnt a full tank. Any sex is better then no sex.. sex once a week is better then NONE sex once a month is better then none. so basically your BF probably had this girl lined up on the sidelines all ready just waiting to bench you. WEll if im wrong let a guy post here that hes ever broken up with a girl because of lack of sex when he didnt have another chick lined up.
You get more bees with more flowers. your ex has game ill give him that and i shouldnt even blow his spot but i will.. basically i think hes juggling. hes got a plan A&B witch one you are i dont know but hes insuring no matter what he will have some you know what lined up far into the future. its easier to get sex when you have a GF its true scientific fact i think and its easier to keep your GF in check if she knows you can go out and get it from another.
Hes got you rite where he wants you hook line and sinker.
final judgment he left you because of a so called lack of sex so unless you plan to have sex with him alot more how do plan to keep him around... ditch this guy save your self the heart ache.
I dont want to be to vulgarrr here but you know who it feels when you wear the same pair of shoes for months then you slip into a new pair. or even an older pair you havnet worn in a while it feels diffrent rite kinda nice mmmm hmmm.
well sexin is kinda the same thing sounds like this guy just wants to slip into a pair of shoes he hasnt worn in a while.
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