A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Basically, 2 days ago, I went to a party with a load of my friends, had a great time, got very drunk and high, and ended up going back home with a girl. This girl is a girl I've known for a while, and she has a boyfriend. I know people say alcohol is NO excuse, but me and her slept together. Prior to this she'd also got with another boy, and things had happened, but no sex. One thing I do believe, is that if she had not said the words 'Me and my boyfriend are having an open relationship next month, due to him going uni', nothing would have happened. (Those words spurred her to get with the other boy too).We were both absolutely wasted, and she is a very...promiscuous(?) personality. I had no idea what I was doing and why I was doing it but knew it was wrong but couldn't stop myself. I'm living with the guilt now and feel positively dreadful. I've spoken to the girl, who I know very well, and we both know what we did was seriously wrong, and strangely, I seem to be taking it worse than her, who had cheated on her boyfriend of 2 years before, and not told him. She seems to be fine with going along without him knowing and believes that relationships can exist with skeletons like this kept in the closet which I don't understand.I barely know her boyfriend but have met him a couple of times, but the worst thing is that I have been made out to be the most trustworthy of his girlfriend's guy friends. So yeah, I'm a frigging horrible person. As said before, about the open relationship, I have no idea why they're gonna stay together but still sleep with other people. They might as well break up.I'm sorry this question has been so messy but I just basically want to know some advice off people who've possibly been in the same situation? This is totally a thing I'd never do but I've realised recently that I change completely when I'm drunk (or have taken drugs). This has made me extremely angry with myself and doubtful of the future, and also considering if I should ever go to parties again. I'm fully prepared for you telling me how horrible I am, because I know I am. But please, some empathy. I know what I've done. Thank you
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drugs, drunk, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your answers, you've both helped me make sense of it a bit more. I'm still on good terms with the girl but I really think she needs to re-think her relationship with this boy, as it has so much things wrong with it. I'm acknowledging that it was partly her fault too, and I'm trying to forgive myself and make rules for myself too on how to handle alcohol and what I do at parties. Religion is helping me a bit too. Thanks a lot again both of you, you're amazing.
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