| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: From reading questions on here I get the strong impression that most people think it normal, natural and okay for a couple after time to just not have sex very often.There are so many posts and replies on here making mention of sex and often not much of it that end in stuff like "but we've been together for four years" (or similar). Is that really relevent? It is almost like we don't but we have this wonderful excuse.Is sexual complaceny and even borderline disinterest excusable if you've been together for years? I mean no offence but sex never just "happens." It is the result of thinking about the other person and making choices, effort and time.Personally I think if you've been together for years and the sex has gone from very frequent to very infrequent then it is a problem. I think I must be the minority to think this. If my partner finds me attractive and enjoys sex with me then why would they want less of it with more commitment.Sex is an expression of love so shouldn't it at the very least sustain itself as the love grows? So often it seems to just take a backseat, the effort subsides, both or one people let life get in the way, and so on.The other bit that annoys me is they say oh but I find him/her attractive. So you find your partner unresistably attractive yet you resist them almost all the time and never touch them or make love to them. Yeah because that makes perfect sense.I know people will reply and say a relationship grows and becomes more about love and I agree BUT I don't see why it should become less about sex. You love me, you're crazy about me, then no offence but you should want me. If you're filled with passion like you say you are then you'll want passion not "oh well we've been together for years now" Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): Perhaps a person's sex drive fluctuates throughout their life, we all go through periods of difference and perhaps the lack of sex is due to circumstances in your life/relationship at that given time and not really to do with how long you have been together.
A
male
reader, Kenneth  +, writes (15 March 2010):
Sex these days especially for men is just recreation...fun!
Men can have sex & think nothing of it. Women are now cathing up with men in this area. However, women still get emotional for sharing their bodies...Men don't.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jo1983  +, writes (15 March 2010):
Yes i strongly agree with you.If my partner never wanted sex often i would feel something wasnt right at the end of the day if you dont want sex or dont mind having sex or not in a relationship with the person you suppose to love then how can you call it a relationship wouldnt it be just like hanging around with a best mate.
Sex is a very powerful way expressing your feelings towards one another.
...............................
|
