A
male
age
30-35,
*obro
writes:I am uncertain whether or not I have been taking the right course of action with the girl I think I am attracted to in uni at the moment.Firstly, I have known her only a month now, and I am not yet suree how much I do like her, so I am being cautious. I think we are getting along well at least. We always sit together in lectures and talk before and after. She has said she would like to spend more time with me - I have said the same. Nothing much has come of it so far. Lack of time or one or the other of us being away at weekends. Anyway, we have had lunch together a couple of times which is nice.Now there is a film on at the cinema and I asked her if she would like to join to me (I guessed it would be one she would be interested in). She agreed to join me if possible. I also asked if she would join me for a drink sometime, but I haven't heard back from her (I only suggested it a couple of hours ago).I left it the wording ambiguous, not using the phrase "go out" or anything similar. Is that the right thing to do at this point when I am not sure myself if I like her as more than a friend or want a date per se? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dobro +, writes (21 October 2008):
dobro is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the answers. Anyway she accepted my invitation but made it clear that she didn't see at as a date and doesn't see me in that way. I don't really mind though as I hadn't really any strong feelings.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 October 2008):
Well if you are unsure then you are doing the right thing. But just be careful that you don't leave it too long and then ask her out only to be told she only sees you as a friend now.
Or that she stop spending time with you because she thinks you don't like her.
I think the best thing you could do is to hurry up and make your mind up. The fact you don't know straight away that you are attracted to her says to me you just want her as a friend.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Part of dating is to get to know the other person better, you can date casually, which it seems to me you have been doing, without the added pressure of having to decide how you feel about this girl right away.
If you tell her you wanna take things slow and get to know eachother better then all she can do is respect you for your honesty.
I'm also a fan of ambiguous wording as the other person can leave it as ambiguous if they themselves are still unsure or they can ask for clarification if they think it is the right time to do so.
Fingers crossed that this girl will take you up on your offer and go with how you feel, don't rush into anything and you'll value anything you do have all the more.
...............................
|
