A
female
age
30-35,
*archie
writes:i came here once, and i talked about where me and my girlfriend made out, and i regretted my action. So now i told her im not interested in her because i so much love my boyfriend. I forget to mention that im a virgin, and have not have sex before, im kind of confused if i am still a virgin because that day, she took a finger and thrust inside me but before she could go in more further, i stopped her, today she text me and told me that that day i behaved like a child n that i was not even a virgin. That word really got me annoyed n made me feel bad about mysef. I called my bf, n told him i wanted to talk to him. There's a lot i want to tell him about mysef, a lot of stupid things i had done, should i also include this, and im i still a virgin after that little thrust? Will he feel bad and want to break up with me?
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (1 June 2013):
 No, no. I'm sorry but no, penetration with a penis is not the only way to lose your virginity. A lesbian who will never have sex with a man is not a virgin after she has sex with her girlfriend/wife!
--Virginity is subjective depending on your sexuality--. Penile penetration is NOT the ONLY way to lose it.
Here's a video by Laci Green talking about virginity. It has pertinent information that will help you come to terms with virginity and it's cultural and personal significance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdYtYveJI1Y
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): 'that little thrust' dear OP was a major breach of trust. You cheated on him so he may well want to break up with you. Only he can make that call. It's easier next time to avoid flirty friendships if you know you can't draw boundaries where you need to.As for whether you're a virgin or not... I suspect what you're asking is are you sexually innocent? By Cerberus' definition lesbians who've been sexually active for years are virgins if they only used fingers and no penis for thrusting. By which definition you're technically a virgin but more importantly are you sexually innocent as you want to be?Lots of virgins nowadays have oral sex and fingering and dry humping and all the rest of it and still feel like they are pure or sexually innocent. I personally wouldn't consider someone like that a 'virgin' because in the sense of being emotionally and physically intimate with another you have crossed a fundamental line that is akin to penetrative sex with a penis.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 May 2013):
 You're a virgin.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2013): Yes OP, you're still virgin, penetration with a penis is losing your virginity. Although you may have lost your hymen, but I think you'd know if that happened.
Yes he will definitely feel bad, only he will be able to tell you whether he wants to break up or not.
Unless you've had sex, you're still a virgin. You didn't have sex with her so you're still a virgin.
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