A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A lot of relationships where girls date a gamer, refer to the problem that he doesn't pay enough attention to the girl... but that is not my problem. He does pay attention to me, and if I do ask him to go somewhere or do something with me, he usually will. The problem is, I hate video games. I think they are a complete waist of time. I understand recreational usage, or playing to relax from a stressful day at work, or whatever. But playing non-stop as a lifestyle, is just annoying and is really starting to get to me. We live together..problem number one, but it's already done..I have my own hobbies, I play cello, guitar, am really into fitness, etc.. so that's not the problem. I've talked to him multiple times, but I can't justify telling someone what to do with their life. I love him to death...he's an amazing guy...does things like fixes my car, warms my car up in the snow, opens doors, etc...I just am getting completely turned off by this addiction of his...he is going to school, but has failed the last 3 classes because he'd rather spend his time gaming. I'm surprised they haven't put him on academic suspension. I am just in disbelief that people choose to spend the majority of their time this way. I'm supposed to be moving to a new place, in a few weeks and signing a new lease with him and some of his gamer friends, and I'm honestly in a bit of a pickle, because there's a side to me that wants to move out with my own friend somewhere else, to maybe try to make things better, and then there's a side to me that's like, well, it's cheap and comfortable, and I don't want to be the one to break plans and leave him somewhat stranded..but i'm honestly scared to move in with his gamer friends and have us continue in this direction...it might even be worse in that situation..ugh. Things are easier said than done...I just don't know what to do...I do want to stay with him, but am not sure if it's because I really do love him, or if I'm just comfortable and afraid of being the one to break it off, but I refuse to be miserable..What do I do!?!?!?
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (15 December 2010):
 I think you really need to think this through before you go ahead an move into this new place. Not only will you be moving with him, but you'll be moving in with is friends as well. The complicate things. It sounds like your boyfriend already has a hard time focusing, if he is around his friends it will only get worse.
This is going to sound very difficult, but in my opinion it's your best option. You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him. I mean SERIOUS. We're talking relationship altering serious. You need to be honest with him. You need to tell him that you love him, but this gaming is hurting both his life and your relationship together. Playing games is okay, but in moderation. If he's failing tests or classes because of his addiction then it's hurting his life and his future.
You need to seriously consider moving in with a friend or two of your own like you suggested. I'm not saying dump your boyfriend, but giving each other some space like this may give him the kick in the butt to get his life moving in the right direction. Tell him you still love him and think he's a great guy, but if gaming is his future unfortunately it's not your future. Two people can still love each other but not share the same interests.
A
female
reader, etheim +, writes (15 December 2010):
Maybe you should take a break from him, tell him that you need your own space!! Sounds like you are def afraid of what is to come of the whole situation!! Tell him I thought you were dating me not ur xbox!!
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