A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not quite sure what has happened to me, but my sex drive has gone way down and it's putting a strain on my relationship. My boyfriend feels that because I don't want to have sex with him, the passion is gone and that I find him unattractive. He feels rejected when I say no and can't understand, even though it's been days, why I don't want to have sex. I still find him very attractive and I don't want to reject him, but at the same time, I feel like if I give in and I know that I don't want to, I'll feel like crap. I'm not even sure if there is anything wrong with me or if he's just making me feel that way. Is it so wrong that I don't want to have sex? I tried to understand where he's coming from, but his issue about this makes me feel a little disrespected which I have told him. And another issue: When I finally do have sex with him, he feels as though he has guilted me into it as if I was lying about wanting to do it at all. I'm not really sure what to do at this point. It's gotten so bad that I've thought about breaking up with him. I really don't want to, because there are so many other things about this relationship that I love. But I'm not sure he sees it that way. I know he's not using me for sex, but right now it's kind of hard to feel that way. So tell me, am I really wrong or is he just being a total ass? It's hard to sympathize with him when he makes me feel like I'm wrong for not wanting to have sex. He has turned me into the bad guy. A couple other facts: We have been dating for about 9 months. We're college students, he's 20 and I'm 19. When we first started dating, we had sex a lot, but over the months, it has slowed down. Don't know if any of that matters, but it could be useful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your response. Yes, I understand now that I am wrong for not trying to do anything about it. We've talked things out and things are getting better.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (27 February 2010):
Well, sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. You're in a relationship... your partner has a reasonable expectation to have a healthy sex life with his partner. You're not wrong for having lost your drive, but for NOT having done anything about it.Get involved with your own health- that includes a sex life!you are too young to fall into this, and it's going to be a problem with every relationship you get into if you repeat it.
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