A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Back story: I met this guy last week. We were walking alone in the same direction so we decided to walk together. We had a pretty in-depth conversation. I wouldn't say we hit it off necessarily but we got along pretty well. When we got to where we were headed he invited me to lunch and I accepted. That went well also and although he lives about five hours away we ended up trading phone numbers. This weekend he was in my city and called me to hang out. It was a daytime activity in a group setting, not a date, but turned into drinks afterward. The two of us ended up walking on the beach at night and then making out, but he was totally respectful and didn't try to take things further. So here's my question: I think he's interested in me, and not just as a potential hook-up, but I'm a little apprehensive. The more we've talked, the more I realize he's totally out of my league socially. Went to private school his whole life, insanely difficult/esoteric major at a very well known Ivy League school, traveled all kinds of exotic places, parents are well off... pretty much born with a silver spoon in his mouth, I guess you could say. I totally understand that most of that is due more to luck than achievement on his part, but to top it all off he has a pretty awesome career, and that he DID start from scratch. I'm constantly told that I'm an interesting person, and I have had a lot of adventure in my life thus far, but I can't shake the feeling that he's too good for the likes of me. Though I went to a pretty well-known college myself, I work a blue-collar job (because I choose to) and while I'm an independent woman, I'm not well off and never will be. When it comes to social graces, he is that guy who took waltz lessons (seriously!) as a child, and I am that girl who doesn't know what to do when presented with more than one fork and spoon. Looks-wise I'd say the playing field is about even, maybe slight advantage to me, but I'm no model and seriously, this guy could probably be running around with a trophy wife if he wanted.Basically, I'd like to see where this leads, but can't help feeling like I'd be setting myself up to get hurt if I do. Any advice is appreciated, especially from those who have (successfully or unsuccessfully) dated outside their social class... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (7 August 2012):
 It can work if he not with someone in his class he might not want that opposites attract he might not like models also so give it a try before knocking it down before its even fully began social class matters to people but most time they matter to parents mostly for tradition. Don't worry cause you seem to be predicting disaster before dessert and you already had a sample of the dessert you liked and he likes as well. I feel sometimes especially now this lady is out of my league but oh well if I like them I like them I accept people for who they are but if i can't date you we may not be to compatible honestly
A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (6 August 2012):
I would get to know him more before you decide to date or considerate. Why are you putting yourself down so much? If you both genuinely like or have interest in each other, then whose to say it wouldnt work out based only on status? Sure you may not know how to waltz or what silverware to use when, but if he actually liked or dare i say eventually love you, those are all petty things that you can learn. You are the only one standing in your own way. But as i say again, get to know him better first.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 August 2012):
 Drop the "He's too good for me" schtick and then reconsider if you want to see and spend time with him....
IF he lets you know that you're "not good enough for him" then you will know a lot about him.... i.e. That he's not worthy of your time and attentions....
IF he never brings up the matter... or acts as if "good enough" has anything to do with what goes on between the two of you.... then there's nothing to worry about...
Good luck....
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