A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Heres my problem, sorry if this is very long , its my first time posting.....A friend of mine who i work with and also see outside of work alot, seems like he could be gay, but i think alot of it is the sterotype stuff.he was married for close to 10 yrs , and is currently sorta seeing a girl.he never has much great things to say about women , says there too much trouble with all the emotions and stuff, and that hes not into "love"at work he acts like the typical str8 "alpha male" all confident and stuff when others are around, but when its me and him , he has no problem staring right into my eyes when he speaks , i`ve seen that sparkle like effect in his eyes that u see when someone is into you.his body language would make you think hes flirting , the way he stands ,comes up real close when he speaks and even the lean into you when were sitting and chatting.i know body language is a hard one , as everyone is different , and hes said he took Psychology and learned how to read peoples body language and when there lying and stuff , and that make me think he could tell i`m gay.but if that were true, hes ok with it , nothing has changed.the things that make me think gay - hes always neat , very clean house ,ocd like that way everything has to be "just right" his body is important grooming, working out and such. has to have fitted jeans , the tight tshirts , and wears sandals with any pants ( i know thats a big sterotype for gays) hes thought nothing of blowing off a night with the girlfriend to hang out with me. but he also says hes not into emotional stuff, that part sounds like a str8 guy , no offense guys!he always talks about getting into a relationship more for owning a home and financial reasons , ( the worry that 1 guy can`t do it alone thing ) but never a talk about enjoying a womans company.he finds alot of ways for us to hang out on the weekendshes confusing me cause he can be 2 different guys , sometimes hes the confident, i don`t care about anyone , and then hes the guy who shows his softer side , talks real sweet looks str8 into your eyes , laughs.I`m thinking hes either str8 and alittle metrosexual and just enjoys being with a friend.or hes had to hide his sexual prefference due to how he was raised.What do you think, am i seeing something i want to see?Thanx
View related questions:
flirt, I work with, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi,
thanx to all who replied, all help is appreciated.
heres more to the story.
being a gay man, i can`t presume to know the str8 male mind so....
i know that guys can be emotionally unavailable, but this sounds like hes in a relationship, just to say hes in one.
he only talks of her , and the issues shes dealing with ,never something he likes about her, he says hes not a love guy , i asked him what it is that keeps him there , he says ,"nothing" that shes nothing special, i said there has to be something , theres always something you like or love about someone, eith security, money , special ways, he says nope nothing.
now i know myself the unemotional part is bull , but why would a str8 guy just take whatever he can , but not have any emotional or other reason to be with thst person.
str8 guys out there , any help?
A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (6 June 2008):
 i think revealing to him that your gay is the first step. if your good friends and it turns out hes straight he probably wont care if your gay. now i know from experience that sometimes its easier to talk to someone thats gay, because theres certian things we cant talk to women about and we cant talk to our straight friends cuz guys arnt supposed to have feelings. i guess only time will tell.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Sounds like you might have a little crush on him. lol. I dont know if he is gay, he does seem to have feminine qualities. He could be just metrosexual.Does he know your gay? If he does he might be gay because usually straight guys have a problem with friendship with gay guys. To me it sounds like he may be gay and trying to either deny it or cover it up because you said he acts tough around everyone else and sensitive around you. I understand how hard it might be to just come right out and ask him since you probably dont want to ruin the friendship but it is the only way to know for sure. If you truly have real feelings for him and want to be with him, maybe the risk would be worth it, but then again maybe you just have feelings for him and you are seeing what you wanna see. I suggest you at least talk to him about his sexual orientation, in a way without offending him. If you do have feelings, dont reveal them just yet. Before you act on anything though, think about how much you value his friendship. Would you rather have him as a friend or boyfriend? Be patient, be smart and wait this situation out. Good luck and best wishes
...............................
|
