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Am I right to stay with him when there are so many issues in our relationship?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm so confused. I don't know if I want to be with my partner of 7 years any more?? The trouble is we have been together for all this time and I wouldn't know what to do or who I am without him. It has been getting clearer over the last year that we both want different things from life. I want to get married, he just isn't sure. I want to have children, he isn't bothered. He has been showing more interest and more enthusiasm for his local football team recently than he has for our relationship and the last couple of months he just seems to have given up on listening to anything I have to say in favour of watching tv or playing on his phone. He doesn't even say good morning to me when he wakes up now, he reaches straight for his phone and seems to ignore the fact that I am even in the room. I am the one that is expected to do everything when it comes to looking after the house unless I ask him specifically to do something but even then it usually doesn't get done and I am always met with the response of 'well I was going to do it later.' We work similar hours and I have a lot of planning work to do when I get home from work but still get no help with the housework.

We also don't seem to do anything any more. We just sit in front of the sofa and barely ever talk to each other. The only times we seem to really get on like we used to do is if we have had a bit to drink.

I know I still love him and would be completely lost without him but I just don't know if I am doing the right thing by staying with him when there seems to be so many issues with our relationship.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 October 2014):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe it's time to sit down and see if you are STILL on the same page Or if you two have grown apart.

Seems like you two want different things and that your BF is taking you for granted OR he is "ignoring" you to make YOU the one to end the relationship. I'm not sure he WANTS it to end, after all right now he has a live in housekeeper and maid.

I think you need to sit down and figure out WHAT you want. In life and from him. Then talk, if he can't help you there or is unwilling, you will have to decide what the next move is.

After 7 years together it's not really uncommon to be in a little bit of a rut, but staying because of the familiarity and history people have together. But doing nothing.. will get you no where.

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