A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: ok today i was texting a guy who i work with in my part time job and he said something about feeling ugly and i said he shouldnt because hes really popular at work. He then asked me what i meant so i text him back saying there are quite a few girls at work who have said they would sleep with u. He then asked me who so I told him the names (including my name) and he said "im flattered but why is it always the weird ones that want me". I text back saying "oi!! anyway it still means ur popular" but then he text back something but didnt mention about the weird bit.Was i right to feel insulted by that?!
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 May 2007):
You were right to be insulted but you have to remember that men have a habit of putting their big foot in it. He probably didn't mean it so try not to worry! Basically he is feeling sorry for himself (...no one loves me!) and you spoiled his moment of self-pity by putting everything into perspective! As for talking to a work colleague about all his co-workers he could sleep with...probably not the conversation you want to be having with people in work even if you really would like to sleep with him...work + relationships are just a big old mess.
A
male
reader, sleepyhollow +, writes (11 May 2007):
No, not really.
You grouped yourself with a bunch of other girls, and he may not have caught onto the fact that your name was in the mix.
And then there's the fact that you shouldn't have told him any names at all. This kind of "outing" of secrets can lead to awkward work environments. You're free to give away your name, but the others weren't necessarily your secret to tell. Of course, the other girls need to learn that "two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead." In other words, they shouldn't necessarily share stuff like that about a co-woker without a reasonable expectation that that co-worker will hear about it eventually. But you really don't want to be the gossip that does the deed... It looks bad, and actually reflects badly on you.
Anyhow, ignore the weird statement. Text messaging on clumsy cell phone keypads is hardly the best way to have a conversation.
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