A
male
age
41-50,
*ohhn
writes:Hi people, I need your help here. I am a 29yr old bi who is male. Guess I lean more towards male attraction than female. there's this guy I have been dating (or so I thought). We have had passionate hugs, he has sent me romantic texts and kisses me on line or by text. He always erects when I hug him, and arches his groin towards me like someone seeking an intimate encounter. I am dying for him, and I told him I was attracted to him, and he said he had no problem with that, as he also had deep feelings for me. Whenever I dont call him for two or three days, he texts me complaining I am ignoring him. We sat down and agreed to date officially, though he told me he preferred being discreet, and would one day get married. Recently, I sent him a red rose, single stem, and he fell so in love with it, and swore he would love me for ever. The problem is, I went to the town he stays, checked into a hotel hoping he would join me, he posted something on fb about his conscience not allowing him. I was upset coz I had travelled 300km just for this and he wasnt ready, 3yrs later. He sensed my upset and came to the room the following day. He sat on the bed I was lying on and placed his head on my lap, looking into my eyes as I stroked his hair and kissed his body. However, when I tried to be intimate, he pushed me away, asked me if I was gay,and appeared disturbed when I said so. He told me he didnt want to hurt me, but asked me to pick up my pieces n move on, he could love me, hug me and do everything except be intimate with me. He says I did not tell him I was gay, and he wants to change me. I felt so hurt, coz he all along knew I was gay or at least bi. Was it his scheme to break up with me or is he really straight n just touchy feely? I am so confused. I however told him I would not push him, would not insist and if he felt I was a bother, I would stay away. I am cureently silent with him and intend to do so, however hard. I dearly miss him so, coz we had become so close and I had believed in him. Am I right in staying away or should I seek him out?
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male
reader, Johhn +, writes (11 March 2012):
Johhn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your responses, Now yesterday I posted something on fb about me being happy, and he posted on my wall that he was sad and feeling low. We communicated by sms and he still did not want anything to do with me, though he asked me not to despise him. He said he was really sorry he had let me down. At the same time, he says he is following his beliefs and principles, and that we never had a breakup, suggesting there was no relationship in the first case. We have had such kinds of quarrels in the past, broken up but always came back together. I dont know whether I am wishing, or whether this will come out the same way as those in the past and we shall be back together. Guess its my heart that tells me this. And I dont know whether it is right.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 March 2012):
 Stay far far away. He isn't ready to be gay or accept that he may be bisexual. HE wants to be straight because he knows that society and most likely his family expects him to marry and start a family. Which means, there will be no intimacy.
He likes to play with you. That is all.
Sorry, you deserve a better guy then that.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (10 March 2012):
My advice to you is stay well away!
He sounds like a guy who either enjoys mind games, or he is extremely mixed up and doesn't know if he is straight or gay and trying to fight it.
Don't let this guy break your heart - find a guy that knows what he wants and who won't drain you with silly games.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012): I say stay away. He played games with you from the looks of it. He is either just giving you an excuse because he has found someone else, or he is having a hard time coming to terms with his attraction to you. Either way though, he asked you to move on, and that's what you need to do. It is hard and hurts like hell, I know that, and I am sorry that your hurting, but you need to stick to not contacting him and move on with your life. Good Luck sweetie, I wish you the best.
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