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Am I right in feeling that this kind of talk should be reserved for your special someone.

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2008)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a friend who I have really strong feelings for. I mean, I'm not in love yet but definitely heading for it. We are pretty close and hang out or talk or chat almost everyday. And I always felt it was heading somewhere, and just wanted to take it slow. I honestly felt he felt the same cos of the way he talked to me and stuff. But, unfortunately, another friend of his told him she was in love with him. and now he is with her :-(

He really seems to like her, and I feel she is more for him (personality wise) than I am (I am quite different).

After that I started to back off slowly, you know, hanging out less, talking less but I have to admit I am very confused. If he doesn't talk to me for a while, he'll message or mail telling me things like I miss you so much and please at least mail.

Now, I am the kind of person who if I talk to someone like that, it wuld be my special someone you know? Someone I care deeply about. That is why I always thought he had feelings for me, cos he talked that way.

So my question is, am I right in feeling that this kind of talk should be reserved for your special someone.

I feel uncomfortable now when he says that, cos I know he's with someone else. Should I tell him not to say those things? or am I overreacting? Is it normal for guys to talk like that to people they just consider as friends? He is the sensitive type and has lot of female friends but I'm the one he wants to talk to everyday. And he tells me how wonderful I am... and then he tells me how happy he is with his new girl! Help!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008):

Try not to feel guilty, it's not your fault. I think here, he's in love with his girl, but likes you a lot too. He clearly values your friendship quite a bit, and doesn't want to lose contact with you just because of him having a girlfriend. If you have the courage to mention something about this to him, then it could help quite a bit. Just tell him you'd like to know where you stand with him, and ask if his girlfriend minds you two still staying close friends. Good luck with everything :]

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A female reader, baybee-x-sparkii United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2008):

baybee-x-sparkii agony auntyou need ot tell him you want to know where you stand.tell him that you can't stand being messed aorund and you want to know the truth of whatever you two have together.

you cant go on the way you are although its obvious you two ahve a connection you will end up getting hurt babe.

if you wannna email me please do

sparkii x

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