A
female
age
41-50,
*nonymous20
writes:I am in love with two great men. I am amazed to see the amount of people who are in a similar situation. I feel a little silly posting my issue like some personal ad but I really have no where else to turn. I have been in a relationship with my present boyfriend for about 4 years now. We have had a few rough patches, but I suspect most couples have experienced that as well. Although the ex-girlfriend has always had somewhat of a presence in our relationship, its nothing that I couldn't deal with. A few months ago, at my boyfriends request we took a little break, and during that time I ran into someone that I had been previously acquainted with. We began to chat and before I knew it I had opened myself up to someone I barely knew. In return he opened up to me and it seemed as if we had known each other forever. The turning point was our snowboarding trip. I had been dying to go all winter and he suprised me with a day trip to the slopes. We had the best day, we laughed and fell and laughed some more. That night on the way home, I realized that he was falling in love with me and I was denying the way I felt about him. I was scared to go any further because I knew that I still loved my boyfriend. I abruptly ended things with guy number 2 and reconcilled with my boyfriend. Now things are back to the same mundane routine, and I constantly look for my guy #2 everywhere just hoping to catch a glimpse and see how he is. Should I just let this go and forget all about this wonderful time that I spent. Am I really in love with someone else, or am I just looking for someone to fill the void within my present realtionship. Could I have let "the one" slip through my fingers?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): I think you first need to evaluate what love is to you.
The love I understand when it comes to a person I wish to be with, takes a little longer to acheive than your situation with this second interest of yours.
Relationships are not all rosey and fun. They take work and effort. If your current relationship is all mundane, do something about it. You possibly only looking at this new man as being something exciting and refreshing. But that is not love. Love is the thing you have that helps you get through the rought and boring times. It is that solid, unmistakable certainty and security.
You have had a long time with your man. If it is not right, then move on. But for goodness sakes don't think about "the one to slip through your finger" - your not in a position to make that decision yet. Think about "am I happy to move on or end it with my current partner". You are in a position to make that decision!
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