A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:"OPs Own Title" Okay, so I have kind of a tough question so I'll try being as succint as possible.There's this girl at work who I can feel myself falling for in a big way, the problem is I kinda get the impression she may like me back. Thing is, when we're together it feels right and that we're both on the same wavelength but when we're apart I convince myself it's just my imagination so I suppose I'm looking for another opinion.We're both from the same background, we have the same kind of mindset, we share the same interests and we're both of a similar nature. We've known eachother about a month and half and we've started developing a very steady friendship but sometimes I feel like there's definitely more there. There's a real spark when we're in each other's company. She's always making eye contact with me, sometimes when we're talking the conversation will trail off but we'll still be staring at each other. One day I was standing on post and for some reason I turned around at the right moment to see her walking by so we waved at each other then I looked away but when I looked back she was still staring up at me. There's also been a few times now where she's had her hand on my back and shoulders and we've had a few playful flirting instances. She's also now taken to asking me what I think of her outfit changes etc and how I think she looks. I think in all honesty that if it were anyone else I'd probably take these things as a go ahead but I am unsure as to how she would feel about a relationship with another woman. I do know that she is incredibly open-minded and we have some of the same gay friends but being open-minded is a lot different to actually going through with a relationship isn't it?Anyway, if anyone has any ideas as to whether she may be interested or not and how I should go about this I'd be incredibly grateful.Take care all x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi there DaisyDuke, Cerberus and Moo's Mum,
I just wanted to say thanks for the advice and encouragement.
Moo's Mum, yeah she knows I'm gay and we also have some of the same gay friends so I know she's absolutely fine with that side of things. Quite strange actually, she popped onto my post for a fairly innoccuous reason today but she could have gone elsewhere for the help but then said "yeah, I heard you were in here today" so wondering if it was maybe a deliberate thing? She does seem to be making more and more effort to actually make a point of stopping by and chatting lately. Umm...not much else I can really tell you to clarify things. There's been a few kinda playful-type flirts as well. Our days off overlap so I'm going to ask her if she wants to go and see a special exhibit that's on at the moment and see how that goes. It's something we're both interested in which will give us a chance to talk away from prying eyes- sometimes work feels like a goldfish bowl!!! So I really just want to say thanks again for the input folks I appreciate it.
Anonymous? I would like to point out that as you don't know me, my employers or my working environment I'm not sure you're "advice" was appropriate. It actually just sounded more like an angry rant perhaps from someone who has personal experience of the senario you outlined however I thank you for your reply as well.
Take care all x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Haven't you ever heard the saying "Don't sh*t where you eat?" There is a reason for it. Going on a hunch and a prayer that some girl is gay and has the hots for you when all you do is have to be in the same place everyday is a recipe for disaster. If she doesn't return your feelings she could report you to HR, if she does and you two end up bitter enemies you still have to see her everyday and you both could end up in HR...it's called unwanted sexual advances, it's not cool. Cast your net into a dating pool that is not responsible for keeping you fed and employed.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 It certainly sounds like she's interested. The key to this whole dilema is, does she know you are gay? If so then ask her if she's ever had or considered a gay relationship if she say's yes then ask her out if she says no tell her you've seen the perfect guy for her on your way to work. If however she doesn't know you are gay ask her what she thinks about gay relationships casually in a disscussion and guage how to continue based on her feelings and thoughts.
Good luck hope it all works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): I'll be honest with you, I never look for signs or hints that girl likes me, if I like her I just go for it before I spend too long thinking about it. I always find it's better to just assume the girl I'm interested in feels the same, it's easier that way.
Yeah the things you describe do indicate certain interest, it's up to you to make that develop into something more.
Time to get to know her outside work, simple as that. Ask her out, ask if she wants to meet up for coffee in town, or for drinks or anywhere you think she'd like to go. Not the cinema, you want to be able to talk to her.
It will only take one date to find out whether she's interested in women or in you in particular.
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A
female
reader, DaisyDuke +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Hey!
I'm no expert on feelings or relationships and I'm not claiming to be but it definitely does sound like she is flirting with you from this!
If I were you I'd get drunk one night, or have a random nice little talk....and turn it into sexual banter. Then you could slyly ask her how she feels about girls, and the furthest she would go with a girl? If you get on really well you should be able to talk about things like that. And I think, that will make it more obvious how she feels about you to be honest, so watch her reaction carefully and engage in a lot of flirty eye contact while she answers :)
x
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