A
female
age
41-50,
*rownsugar33
writes:I have been seeing this married man for over 8yrs. His wife left him about 3yrs ago. Many would think thats what he wanted and he wuld want to start a life with me, the women he said he loved and it appeared he couldnt beapart from whil he was with his wife. well wife is gone, no extra love came my way, he act like he cant stand me, no more compliments, and now i'm crowdng his space. And as my love grew for him, it seem that his didnt for me, I was ready to marry this man that I truly love and remained faithful too, one thing he doesnt want to marry me, and he accuses me of doing thngs that I have not done. He calls me names and attacks me emotionally, when I try to have a serious relationship with him, that he said he wanted. I just don't understand, why don't he act like he love me the way he said he did. Am I played out and he is looking for someone new?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): He was married, which mean unavailable. Why go after someone who has a wife. No good comes from that.
Yes he used you, just as he used her. He doesn't trust you, because he knows he can't be trusted. He strung you along, telling you all the stuff you wanted to hear because he knew he was safe & couldn't marry you. Now that he can, you are seeing another side to this man.
Don't waste anymore time, he isn't worth it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): He cheated on and lied to two women for all those years.
Now he's only cheating on and lying to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): My first question is 8 years and 5 of them he was married? That doesn't make you very ethical at all. I don't condone cheating at all. If you don't respect a couple's relationship, why do you believe you are deserving of the same thing? That aside, he is using you. If he wanted to be with you he would have. I go back to what Dr. Phil says, "If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you." Even if he were to drop everything right now and marry you, Would you do it? I hope you would say no. You need to find a man who will treat and love you and only you. A man who can see what you are worth. There are men who don't abuse you emotionally, or attack you. There are better men out there and I believe you will find one, but you have to cut all ties with this man (I suspect as soon as you do that, he will try to make it up to you...this is a trap. Then you forgive him and he will start attacking and abusing you all over again.) You have to break this cycle. And walk away. I know this is difficult, but if you get a support system and everytime you want to go back with him then call them you can do this. I hope this helps, let us know how it goes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): Sadly he isn't who you thought and is clearly moving on. He cheated and lied to his wife for years so you realistically can't have expected him to be loyal to you,his 'bit on the side' who encouraged it, surely?Leave him to it, he's really not worth crying over.Its hard for you after waiting around so long but this is why married men are best left alone and single men so much more attractive.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Yes, he had no intention of being with you full time, and he is probably looking for somebody new.
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