| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for 16 months now and everything has been fantastic. Lately though I have been feeling a bit insecure and I keep comparing how we interact now to how we did when we first started dating. I find myself saying to him "how come you never do this anymore?" or "you never would have done/said that when we first started going out". I'm scared that he will lose interest in me because he is not as eager to please me as he used to be, and doesn't constantly dote on me as he used to. He still treats me lovingly, but I can't get over him not doting on me like in the beginning. How do I change my thoughts and reactions to what is a normal relationship progression?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): I think everything sounds like its going fine, all relationships start off very passionate and lots of love is shared and all that other stuff that goes on, but it sounds like you guys have moved up a level, you will probably find that he is more in love with more then ever because it sounds like he takes the relationship more serious now and propbably assumes becuase you two are in love that he no longer has to keep trying to capture your heart and impress you all the time. Dont worry this does not mean he will never be romatic like he use to be instead he will probably save speaical and romantic things for a speaical day. Sometimes my bf will just out of the blue sends me some flowers or leave me a love note and choclates just as a nice suprise. Another thing i also suggest is not to nag him about why he does not do these things anymore becuase guys dont like girls who nag at them, they want a "cool girl", have a think abut some of the stuff you are asking him to do or what he does not do, is this stuff really important to the relationship? I also sometimes feel inscure about the relationship i am in, but that is not because my bf shows no intrest in me its just because i think that im not a good enough person to be his gf, and im guessing this maybe the same problem you are also having. My bf told me it is a major turn off for guys if he is dating a needy girl who needs attention all the time, they would prefer a girl who is confident and happy. good luck
A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (7 December 2005):
 In the beginning, relationships are always at best, and everything is wine and roses. But after that, whether it be a few months, or 16, things start to calm down. when you become comfortable with eachother, you start treating eachother differently. If you truely want to make this relationship work, you have to work on it. Tell him how you feel and find out what his intentions are as far as making the relationship work. Communication is very important once you get into the comfortable stage of a relationship.
...............................
|
