A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, my boyfriend (which is OLDER than me) been together for almost 6 months,he has behaved like a true man with me, always very pleasing,loving,etc,he recently purchased his first house. very modest,it's a home that will eventually use for business(rent the home). My boyfriend is the kind of person that is way to nice, pleasing, giving, if he sees a lost puppy in the streets he most likely will try to rescue him. if a woman is on the floor in the mall, he worries and thinks something is wrong with her and wants to help her.My boyfriend months ago,almost when we started dating, started talking to a women he now calls his ''friend'' and real state agent they met in a Latin restaurant,she is the one who helped him look for this house.He has talked to me about her since he started looking for a home to live in.So obviously she has been involved with him in the process of looking for a home etc, this woman has 4 adopted Kids and her aunt looks like one of those low class with little education type of person,so this past Saturday he had a house reunion/house warming party, his family flew in from south America(they are Latinos like me)he wanted his mom to meet me and visceversa, his mom came with his beloved aunt, her sister and her boyfriend which is older than her( he is 80) my boyfriend wants this man like a father.So this past Saturday was the housewarming party, and he invited 4 of his friends, me my grandparents (my parents live abroad) and my aunt, so obviously my grandparents represent me in this moment, he also invited his ''friend'' real state agent, and her aunt( they are both from South America as well) so everything was good,everybody was talking,getting to know each other.But then I start to notice that this Real state agent ''friend'' of his'' is trying to win his family being all nicey nicey, then she started NOT ALL THE TIME but if my boyfriend went to the kitchen, she sometimes went after him, and then she asked him ''so did you do so and so to the bathroom'' and he answered her very naturally (well my grandma was in front of him of course!)oh yeah come over so you can see. By the way this real state agent, looks nothing like a real state agent , when I first saw her she looked like a little girl, she is petite. But she does not have that professional look in her.My aunt was also looking at him when he was showing her the house rooms,bathroom etc.We did not talk a lot cause he was trying to talk to everybody, his friends(mostly his friends) but still he could at least told me to come and sit near them or whatever I don't know, he seemed stress because he was fixing the house and looking for the foo last minute, so I did notice him he was like anxious or uneasy and my aunt told me exactly the same thing. So I did not enjoy the party cause honestly I did not like this real state agent friend of his, I felt she was to on top of him, an her aunt looking at everything, its like if this was a competition to see who wins him over. I truly believe that this girl might possibly like him, or is trying to win him over, that is the impression it gave to me maybe I am wrong and it's her way of being, but I don't have an instinct for nothing. plus my thoughts are she got him the home,perfect that is it, there should be no more interaction between them. but he calls her his friend. my boyfriend plans to rent one the room to someone so it helps him with the mortgage, and she was going to be the one renting it( the first option) so imagine she was going to be living in the same house (It's like an efficiency). I find this weird for some reason, he told me it's better for him to rent it out to someone he knows rather than to a complete stranger (I understand this) but she is not the only ''decent'' person out there, there are many people willing to live in an efficiency/bedroom that are quiet and not troublemakers.I talked to him about all of THIS ISSUE that I did not like her at all.That she was all over the place for my taste or for what I had seen in the house warming reunion,and so so,so he was kind of bummed that I did not like her, cause he in fact was planning to rent the bedroom to her and wanted me and her to get along, he was even going to present her to a male friend of his so we can all go out on a date. And I told him NO WAY!!, I don't want that woman near me,Ok maybe I overreacted but I wanted him to see that I do not like this girl. I told him that I believed she liked him, and he was like'' oh come on babe NO,she is my real state agent and friend.I also told him if you were going to rent this woman the room, you were going to have to choose between me and her,cause I was not going to tolerate this, or it was going to be the end, then he grabbed my hand and said ;''are you kidding me babe, of course I was going to choose you what kind of question is this'' listen she is just my friend, and she does not like me or anything. (I don't think he was going to say otherwise, would be very stupid to tell me ''oh yeah I think she likes me too'') He told me she is not going to rent the room anymore, cause first she wanted to get to know me (Cause obviously I will be LIVING THERE WITH HIM)He even asked me to move in with him. He was like listen you can stay and go to the house whenever you want, it's your house, if you want to move in right now with me,you can move today.She seems like the type of woman, that throws the rock and then hides the hand, she offered to look for the food for the party,she found his at the last moment the furniture etc, she was trying to win him mom,aunt etc. even MY AUNT SAW THIS!! Plus she was like oh I FINALLY GET MEET YOU ANABELLE!! she sounded like a fake person to me.I don't know if it's her way of talking, but seemed fake to me. THEY BOTH TALK THROUGH WHATSAPP, I don't like it but I believe there is nothing I can do.Then I was in the kitchen with my grandparents and she came in starts to talk to my grandma,the second time I was in the kitchen,my boyfriend was serving himself some food and his other male friend which was super nice, and all of the sudden she comes in and asks him something about the food or something,don't remember what it was.Then one of his friends left and before leaving he asked this girl something and they both walked outside the house,and minutes later my boyfriend walked out as well.By the way everything has developed,Do you think there might be something between my boyfriend and this girl that I don't know about?
View related questions:
petite Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): I remember two of your previous posts.The more that you write about this issue, the less detail you give about the whole background picture, misleading us as readers, so that you get different advice each time. However, what comes across is not that you want the best for everyone involved, but that you are determined, at all costs, to get your own way, despite this being a highly unusual situation.Your gut keeps telling you something is not right - you have been asking pretty much the same question every time you've written in to this site" Is there something going on between my boyfriend and this estate agent?"However, you keep ignoring any advice that is not going to help you to get what you want - this man, and his wealth, to yourself.Meanwhile, you have been derogatory about the family of this other woman - saying they are "low class" and "uneducated". It really does seem like you are looking only to advance your own position in life, in financial terms. You never mention loving your partner, and seem obsessed with the idea that he is going to become a property developer, beginning with this current apartment.I, for one, do not want to add any more advice - although I have thought of things I could say, I think you will twist them to you advantage, in a way that I don't intend. I don't think your own motives for being in this situation are ethically sound. You come across as someone who is willing to step on anyone's toes to get what you want AND for that reason, you are analysing this other woman from that perspective, trying to figure out if she is capable of playing a better game than you, of getting what she wants.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2018): I think you are over reacting. There is nothing to show your boyfriend has been anything but upfront and honest with you. This women has done nothing wrong ether. You seem fixated on her being into your boyfriend-she might well be or she is being a good friend and helping him out when needed. You seem to think her behaviour at the party was unusual-being friendly to all at the gathering, including yourself is nice and normal. If she had been aloft and unfriendly I feel you would have read into these behaviours in exactly the same way. Ditto her 'professional' look, being petit and wearing non work clothes in social situations is completely normal. Honestly you sound like hard work, are you going to accuse every women he comes accross as being after him, and vice versa. It might be time to look into the real reason you are so fixated on this non issue.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2018): Not again!This is the THIRD time you have written about this situation and, once again, you have left out a lot of details about your boyfriend's background, so that we, as readers, cannot get a clear picture of what is going on.Why do you keep writing in about this when you absolutely don't take any of the advice we offer to you? Now you are asking us readers to comment on the situation for a third time. What are you going to do? Ignore our advice again and then write in again in a couple of weeks describing how this woman is slowly but surely coming between you and your boyfriend?It is so clear that you do not want to face up to the fact that this is a highly unusual situation. Of course your boyfriend has feelings for this woman otherwise there is NO WAY she would be involved in this situation at all. She actually does seem like the better match for him,
...............................
|
