A
female
age
41-50,
*il_asian
writes:I have so much doubt and mistrust going with my ex,yes,i am still going out with my ex just like we are still together,we sleep together,we talked a lot.I asked him many times that i don't us to be just friends,but he always answer me that he is happy what we have now.Everytime i decided to let go and find my man,i couldnt find any strenght to move on so i always coming back and forget my resentments.The thing is,i know almost his internet accounts,personal accounts and even when he susbcribe in personal website which means hes looking and searching for mate.I am very upset what i found out.I know his phone activity too since i can open his mobile account on-line which he doesn't know about,i found out he has a series of text messaging when im not around and some calls to his ex. It happens all the time when im not around,like when im at work or when he just drop me off.Ive been keeping all this secret thingy that i know everything he does.If only im just innocent from everything then i would appreciate all his doings for me,Hes been very nice and helpful,thoughtful for me,But the thing is,he never want to commit with me any more but i always confuse because we talk and always together like we are still lovers.I am very confuse.I dont know if im just invading his privacy,obsessive,over controlling of physcho.The reason why im invading all his accounts coz i couldnt trust him.I am very dependent with him.I have so many admirers but i push them away.I find my comfort zone with my ex.I don't know if im doing right or wrong.Please help me to clarify my thoughts.:(
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female
reader, lil_asian +, writes (13 April 2009):
lil_asian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell,aside from being not taking me as his GIRL,even he only want me to be his friend,i always cook for him,make lunches,everytime he get off from off,hes calling me if im cooking ,and ill pak for dinner again.I sometimes bursted out coz im very upset and depressed with the things i know about his activities,about talking his ex or series of text while im away,he always so good of taking me back again,and here i am again back with his plans.I always give him a massage,help him clean his place or cook over the weekend for his lunch and dinner for couple days.When his at work,he always calls me,his co worker likes me a lot coz he always told them about me,that i am good girl,and his co worker always tell him he cant find a gurl like me anymore and it feels me better,but i dunno know what else he wants,i dunno why he still subscribing some sites looking for other good girl.Am i not giving him enough space to breath to think?we always talk,i always check him out,when i dont,hes always the one whos wondering.Thats why im very confuse,when i want to kiss him,he always push me away coz he doesnt want it that closeness between us ,that we are just friends,BUt we sleep together almost every night.I really dont know what to do.I am the kind of girl i want to settle down and hes not ready,and its not just that,i know hes still looking for his ideal gurl not just being good gurl.I really dont know,i really want to move on but i always been so dependent with him.
A
female
reader, lil_asian +, writes (13 April 2009):
lil_asian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for all your sincere,heart warming response!i was depressed and upset when i checked again his mobile online activity and he had series of text msg and he just called his ex like 4 times when he knows im out.Thank you so much,i will always read this over and over again until it will absorbed in my system.lolz...it really helps a lot!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Quite simply, your Ex is pretty Immature - how do I know? Because I used to be that guy once.
He can't have it all, breaking up with you then wanted to have the whole sleeping with you friends with you thing, I can only guess that he was in Love with you and either got kinda scared at that (like I did) and then broke the thing off or just didnt know how good he had it.
If you do go down the whole breaking off ties thing - which is the best way (It happened to me lol) then one of two things will happen
1) he'll eventually realise what an Immature prat he was, curse his own damn bad luck when you eventually move on and mostl likely do stupid things to jepordize your new relationship. Eventually though he'll come to give you space and let you live your life if he truly loves you. "If you love someone set them free" and all that
2) he'll be pissed off for all of a few weeks, move on and you'll be better off without him :D - jackpot!
as for the whole privacy thing...scoping around myspace/facebook/bebo is bad enough however private documents really have to stop. Forget about the boy and get yourself a canary as the song goes ;)
Goodluck btw, Its a hard road to go down, believe me, but it's the best way
nice to have a guys perspective too :D
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