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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm 15 and been dating a chick for 5 months now. We went to the movies about 4 nights ago and the shirt I was wearing smells like her and I won't wash it. I keep smelling it cause it reminds me of her. Is this bad?Please help. I asked her about this and she said it means I love her more than anything. I sneak out at nights and walk atleast 4 miles to just see her through a window and I'm obsessed with her. Is this bad? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2006): firstly to say congrats on finding some1 u feel so strongly about but what i really want to tell u is dont give up on this, it could turn in to something amazing, ive bin with my bf since i was 15 n im 18 now n we are still goin strong so stick with it.good luck!
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female
reader, sam12345 +, writes (12 July 2006):
awwwwwww dats so cute. You are obviously crazy about this girl and its lovely. The shirt thing is fine. A persons smell is what attracts us to them in the first place as pheramones (or however you spell it lol) in your sweat are what attracts you to someone so this is totally natural. Wanting to c her all the tym is fine to just you have to control yourself sumtimes. sneaking off in the night is not good. Try texting or e-mailling her instead. and as long as she doesnt mind, it doesnt matter if you are obsessed with her. Its lovely and she should be very happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not peeking she comes to the window hehe :)
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 July 2006):
 The shirt thing is fine. A person's scent is a direct highway to the brain, and you're attracted to her, so the scent of her on your shirt makes you happy.
It's also kind of cute. So nothing to worry yourself over.
However, the sneaking out of home at night, walking for miles and doing a Peeping Tom number in her windows is a bit creepy and stalkerish. Best leave off and not do that, because you can't be sure that someone else on the street won't see you lingering, think you're up to no good and call the police to check you out. An excuse like "I was admiring this chick I know" won't get you very far with the constabulary!
And I'm sure your folks would be horrified to know that you're doing this instead of sleeping/studying or whatever.
Feeling like you want to see her all the time is OK, understandable, even normal for young guys in their first serious relationships. But remember to inject some good sense into your behaviours too. Think about the results of your actions, and how sometimes the best intentions can be misconstrued.
In other words, shirt=good. Peeping=bad.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (4 July 2006):
 I read an interesting article in National Geographic about love. They were interviewing scientists about the chemical nature of love. They said that love and obsession (from obsessive compulsive disorder) are almost identical chemically. That love is really just a natural form of obsession that we are built to experience, its the chemical way of making sure we mate and reproduce...
So, in a way, your question answers itself. Love is a form of obsession, so yes you are obsessed, you are in love, they are one and the same.
What you are experiencing has been called 'limerance', as an attempt to make it distinct from the more long term pair-bonding type love that couples develop over many years together (which is the other side of 'love'). This is closer to the love you have for your family, or children, and perhaps your best friends. Have a look at this if you want to read more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerance
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