A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 years old. I've never really dated much except for the past two years I've been dating more and trying to find a nice man to have a relationship with.Well there seems to be a problem. The guy's I've started a relationship with or dated were all either unfaithful or the player type. I was dating a guy for about 3 months and out of nowhere he texted me one morning and said his ex wanted to meet up with him and that he was going to see her. He then basically dropped me to be with her again. 2 different guys I was in a relationship with both cheated on me and then left me to be with the other girls. There were also situations like the guys were always flirting and hooking up with other women and basically playing me.I don't want to sound like a drama queen and over react about this but am I just not good enough for a guy? What do these women that I get cheated on with or left for have that I don't? I feel like I have to be doing something wrong because these same situations happen with every single guy. They always find someone better than me and then they just drop me. My self esteem is just really low now after all of this has been happening. I just want you guys to give me the honest truth as to why this happens. Why do these situations keep happening? Why do guys cheat and play girls?
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (11 June 2013):
 Guys cheat because they don't know what they want and they are too pansy to be a man and break off the relationtship. They are immature and stupid. Since they are the idiots Don't let it hurt your self confidence!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): Why do girls cheat and play guys? Same answer, because people are human.
I don't know how you are picking guys to date. But that is usually the problem in these situations. (If you say the guys are picking you, then that totally confirms it is the problem.)
There are not many players who won't give off signs of being a player within few weeks (or days). Look for the signs and cut loose when you see them. Your gut is correct more often than not but you have to listen to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): You have to first consider your your age-group. Young men in their early teens to early twenties are slaves to their hormones. They do have feelings and truly do like you; however, they are drawn to easy sex. Don't ever get it in your head that you need to use your body as bait for boys. They respect girls who respect themselves. They pretend they don't.Adolescent males are like dogs sniffing around for the female dog in heat. They forget the feelings of the girl they're with. That's often because they didn't have good male role models to show them how to respect women, and how to treat a girl who really cares about him. Guys with good father-figures and male role models behave differently. They are still just as horny; but control themselves better. They usually have the same girl for a long time. They have their ups and downs, but still seem happy together. He's a target for flirts. Girls jealous of his girlfriend. They target his male nature, seeking to tempt him with sex to draw him away from his girlfriend. They make her feel insecure. After-all, he is a boy and she's too pretty!He surprises them by how much he cares for his girl, and doesn't easily give in. That's the kind of guy you're looking for. Probably the guys you don't notice.To girls, most boys must seem like dogs and pigs; but they are going through hormonal changes into manhood. Their bodies are maturing faster than their minds; so their brain power isn't strong enough to manage their sexual impulses and curiosity. Their sex-drive is on over-load.To boys at this age, girls are a biological science experiment; and they all can't wait to find their own guinea pig.Most likely, those boys you describe in your post came on to you with a great line; or flirted with you and wouldn't stop until you relented. They didn't leave you alone until you gave up. They made you feel like they'd go crazy, if you wouldn't be their girlfriend. Then they cheated on you.There are boys who are happy with one special girl. They aren't so noticeable. Girls like the bad boys and the flirts. The "tools" have a charm girls gravitate to.Girls your age also give into their hormonal urges as well, and become easier targets for the wrong boys. If they become popular with boys for being easy, they'll ride on the wave of popularity until shame takes it's toll.Boys can be cruel, and jealous girls are worse. They get crushed by the rumors and gossip. The boys go on to be legendary sex-gods. Rewarded by one and all for trashing the girls they've had sex with. Revered for the number they've conquered. That's why many behave the way they do. Their egos get blown out of proportion. They even lie and claim to have had girls they didn't have. They don't even have to prove it. The tools get noticed first; because they are so outgoing and obnoxious. Girls think they can tame them, and feel cool being with them. That is, until they become a victim of his cheating. They'll dump him, and take him back in hot second! Don't let another girl look his direction.Horny boys see every pretty girl as a challenge. He wants to see how many girls he can have sex with, thinking it makes him into some kind of sexual legend to the other tools. Truthfully, he is a legend in his own mind. He is a fool searching for his first STD; or to make some foolish girl a teen mom. They are a parent's nightmare, and girls swoon over his popularity. Just dieing for their chance to be seen with the popular boy they've heard rumors about from other girls. Ready to give up their virginity for bragging-rights. Not realizing how bad it feels until they get their hearts broken; by being dumped like garbage.You should date boys you feel comfortable with. That don't pressure you, and show you respect even when he's around other girls. Observe how he reacts when approached by another girl. Dump him if he forgets you're next to him.You need to know if he is seeing anyone else or recently broke up with an ex. Stop dating boys on the rebound. If you date a boy who isn't over his ex-girlfriend, he'll dump you in a second. He'll sneak around with his ex behind your back. Drop him instantly. Don't compete or fight over him. He's not worth it. He'll chose her anyway. Boys feel possessive and get jealous of other boys being with their ex. They hate the thought of her having sex with another boy, more then they really care about her. It's more about his male ego than the girl. Trust me.You will meet a lot more jerks than you'll meet guys that you feel right for you. You still learn from these jerks.You learn by realizing how some boys think. Just how sneaky or rude they can be. That prepares you emotionally, and you learn how to defend your heart. You will learn what you really like in a guy, and what you don't like; by the examples these boys set for you. You will earn a good reputation by knowing exactly the type of woman you are.You learn how to out-think them and beat them at their own game. You have to compete in the world for survival, and this is part of your life's lesson. That's why girls mature faster then boys.If you take your time and keep your eyes open; you will find there are some pretty sweet guys out there waiting to meet you. All they need is to be noticed and not written off as wimps; because they know how to treat a girl. They may not be as cool as the bad-boy, they don't come on as strong, and they usually seem pretty mature for their age.Try checking out the good-looking guys who do well in school, have plans for college, and don't mind holding down a job. They might seem a little low-key, square, and serious; but you've had your fill of just the opposite, right?When you go to a party, check out the quiet guy smiling in the corner. Avoid the the guys with mean faces and loud mouths. Avoid guys who brag too much, and talk down to girls. Avoid creepy guys who seem too isolated and antisocial. That will narrow down your search for the right guy for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): You have to first consider your your age-group. Young men in their early teens to early twenties are slaves to their hormones. They do have feelings and truly do like you; however, they are drawn to easy sex. Don't ever get it in your head that you need to use your body as bait for boys. They respect girls who respect themselves. They pretend they don't.Adolescent males are like dogs sniffing around for the female dog in heat. They forget the feelings of the girl they're with. That's often because they didn't have good male role models to show them how to respect women, and how to treat a girl who really cares about him. Guys with good father-figures and male role models behave differently. They are still just as horny; but control themselves better. They usually have the same girl for a long time. They have their ups and downs, but still seem happy together. He's a target for flirts. Girls jealous of his girlfriend. They target his male nature, seeking to tempt him with sex to draw him away from his girlfriend. They make her feel insecure. After-all, he is a boy and she's too pretty!He surprises them by how much he cares for his girl, and doesn't easily give in. That's the kind of guy you're looking for.To girls, most boys must seem like dogs and pigs; but they are going through hormonal changes into manhood. Their bodies are maturing faster than their minds; so their brain power isn't strong enough to manager their sexual impulses and curiosity. Their sex-drive is on over-load.To boys at this age, girls are a biological science experiment; and they all can't wait to find their own guinea pig.Most likely, those boys you describe in your post came on to you with a great line; or flirted with you and wouldn't stop until you relented. They didn't leave you alone until you gave up. They made you feel like they'd go crazy, if you wouldn't be their girlfriend. Then they cheated on you.There are boys who are happy with one special girl. They aren't so noticeable. Girls like the bad boys and the flirts. The "tools" have a charm girl gravitate to.Girls your age also give into their hormonal urges as well, and become easier targets for the wrong boys. If they become popular with boys for being easy, they'll ride on the wave of popularity until shame takes it's toll.Boys can be cruel, and jealous girls are worse. They get crushed by the rumors and gossip. The boys go on to be legendary sex-gods. Rewarded by one and all for trashing the girls they've had sex with. Revered for the number they've conquered. That's why many behave the way they do. Their egos get blown out of proportion. They even lie and claim to have had girls they didn't have. They don't even have to prove it. The tools get noticed first; because they are so outgoing and obnoxious. Girls think they can tame them, and feel cool being with them. That is, until they become a victim of his cheating. They'll dump him, and take him back in hot second! Don't let another girl look his direction.Horny boys see every pretty girl as a challenge. He wants to see how many girls he can have sex with, thinking it makes him into some kind of sexual legend to the other tools. Truthfully, he is a legend in his own mind. He is a fool searching for his first STD; or to make some foolish girl a teen mom. They are a parent's nightmare, and girls swoon over his popularity. Just dieing for their chance to be seen with the popular boy they've heard rumors about from other girls. Ready to give up their virginity for bragging-rights. Not realizing how bad it feels until they get their hearts broken; by being dumped like garbage.You should date boys you feel comfortable with. That don't pressure you, and show you respect even when he's around other girls. Observe how he reacts when approached by another girl. Dump him if he forgets you're next to him.You need to know if he is seeing anyone else or recently broke up with an ex. Stop dating boys on the rebound. If you date a boy who isn't over his ex-girlfriend, he'll dump you in a second. He'll sneak around with his ex behind your back. Dump him instantly. Don't compete or fight over him. He's not worth it. He'll chose her anyway. Boys feel possessive and get jealous of other boys being with their ex. They hate the thought of her having sex with another boy, more then they really care about her. It's more about his male ego than the girl. Trust me.You will meet a lot more jerks than you'll meet guys that you feel right for you. You learn from these jerks.You learn by realizing how some boys think. Just how sneaky or rude they can be. That prepares you emotionally, and you learn how to defend your heart. You will learn what you really like in a guy, and what you don't like; by the examples these boys set for you. You will earn a good reputation by knowing exactly the type of woman you are.You learn how to out think them and beat them at their own game. You have to compete in the world for survival, and this is part of your life's lesson.If you take time and keep your eyes open; you will find there are some pretty sweet guys out there waiting to meet you. All they need is to be noticed and not written off as wimps; because they know how to treat a girl. They may not be as cool as the bad-boy, they don't come on as strong, and they usually seem pretty mature for their age.Try checking out the good-looking guys who do well in school, have plans for college, and don't mind holding down a job. They might seem a little low-key, square, and serious; but you've had your fill of just the opposite, right?When you go to a party, check out the quiet guy smiling in the corner. Avoid the the guys with mean faces and loud mouths. Avoid guys who brag too much, and talk down to girls. Avoid creepy guys who seem too isolated and antisocial. That will narrow down your search for the right guy for you.
...............................
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