A
female
age
36-40,
*ylove_5757
writes: ok so i usually dont have a problem with anyone watching porn. Like, I dont care if my boyfriend watches it, its reality'; everyone does. But then when it comes time for me to try and get him off i can't because he was masturbating that morning or so. It just bugs me because i feel like he doesnt need me. It's starting to really bug me and make me feel like im not pretty enough or im not fitting his "pornstar" expectations. Its starting to make me feel really insecure about myself. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): You need to address your concerns to your boyfriend about this. Whilst masturbation can be a healthy thing, it can clearly become damaging to a relationship when that person relies on self-pleasure rather than having to engage in intimacy with a partner, it's habit forming and your boyfriend seems to have got in to this routine.
I can understand why you would feel insecure and second best when he is using fantasy to keep himself satisfied every day, no wonder you aren't feeling good it can't be a good thing to think about.
You need to address your concerns and tell him what you want. He, as your partner should want to adjust his behaviour so that you are no longer unhappy and certainly not feeling insecure about yourself. I'm sure your boyfriend will take on your concerns and work with you but if after you've had these talks you are still unhappy then perhaps you need to take a look at if your relationship is really doing you any good.
A
male
reader, Adam001 +, writes (15 February 2007):
Hello. Well i was with my last girl for 3 years and it was the best sex I ever had. We used to have sex at least 5 times a week usually more. I personally still mastrubated at least 5 times a week which my girl knew about, sometimes id do it when she was there, sometimes we'd to it together. I think it all comes down the the persons sex drive and dont think you need worry. I think you should try telling him that he makes you insecure though.
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