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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 years old and have never had a boyfriend. In primary school I had a few childish boyfriends, though of course these were only jokes. Since then I have only had one small relationship, a month, where we were only seeing each other so weren't even girlfriend and boyfriend. The most I have done with a bloke is making out and touching, past that I have never done, but this can't be normal. I am in an all girls catholic school, so that couldn't be a reason, though two out of my three best friends have had sex already, and of course there are many more in my class who have, so this can't be a reason. Is it normal to not have had a serious relationship yet, and to have only gone as far as french kissing? I mean, I feel so lonely all the time, and I absoloutely hate it! I just feel like such a loser, sometimes, I just want to disappear because no one would even notice. Please help, am I normal? or am I just a sad frigid freak?
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (1 March 2009):
 Oh, for goodness' sake. You are not a freak. You are not frigid. You are not abnormal. You are 16 and incarcerated in a CATHOLIC GIRLS' SCHOOL. Smile. You'll only be there for a couple more years. : )
Now listen. I was at a girls' boarding school. I didn't SPEAK to a boy until I was 16, and then even when I did I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. Lots of my friends had wild parties all the holidays and lost their virginities on mrs somethington-somethings bathroom floor at 3am on new years's eve when they were 13, and always regretted it. I didn't. I was like you - I was miserable because so many of my friends seemed so much more advanced and organised on the boys front, and I just basically never really met any boys. When I did, I was so shy it was excruciating. BUT, at that age, you are still very young! You will lose your virginity quicker than you think - just relax. Chill. There is so much time to have sex. Wait until you meet someone you feel comfortable with (not very likely holed up in a girls' school - so don't beat yourself up about it - the laws of physics are against you - if you never see any boys, how can you kiss them?!).
I don't mean to sound flippant, because I know that to me, at your age, I felt absolutely just as miserable and worried, but I wish someone had told me that I was panicking for no reason. If you had said you were in your 3rd year of university and you'd never spoken to a boy, well, there might be cause for concern - but in your situation, jeez, the odds are against you. Just wait until you meet someone. It will happen. There will be some dance or party or something. And so far, at your age, it is totally normal not to have had a relationship! Most people don't have one until they are 18 or so.
And if you've been looking at this site, remember that all the 13-year-olds on here asking about sexual positions and morning-after pills - well, they're on here because they need help. The majority of 13-yr-olds are tucked up in bed and not yet encountering that kind of thing.
I will tell my own daughter that once it's gone, it's gone, so hold on to it as long as you can ... : ) (virginity, that is!)
A
female
reader, Anyquestion +, writes (1 March 2009):
 Of course your normal!People are different.When the time comes you'll know your ready!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): As everyone has told you, you are perfectly normal! Gina is right on with her advice!
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you...don't rush it or wish it away!
You will find your mate in time, but meanwhile find yourself! Work on being the best you can be! Once you are in a relationship it becomes difficult to focus on ones self. Do it now! You won't regret it. By the way love usually comes along when you are not looking for it, and it comes from unexpected places! Life is a journey! You will one day get to your final destination and it will be over! So learn to enjoy the journey!
Britt
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): Haha! Imagine calling yourself a sad frigid freak at your age!
You have to stop being so hard on yourself, sweetie.
I lost my virginity at TWENTY and I was so glad I waited. I felt much like you did, left out, like something was wrong with me etc. But the truth was I wasn't ready. But then I became ready. I had many fulfilling relationships, fell in love, had sex, some good, some bad, some amazing.
When you're an adult, it doesn't matter. It's not a race. It's not a checklist that you have to speed through as fast as possible. It's worse to rush ahead, sleep with a guy who doesn't care about you, regret it, feel used blah blah blah.
You only get to be a virgin once, enjoy it. And 16 is a perfectly reasonable age to be inexperienced.
There is SO much time for this when you are older.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): you are more than normal. Remember that this is just news stories you are being told. The exciting highlights, reality is far from this. Some will be lying, some won't.
Your time will come as you meet and mix with boys. no you aren't a looser to have only French kissed a boy.
Be more confident in saving yourself rather than, well giving yourself to any tom, dick or dick like some of the other girls. The real boyfriends you meet will prefer you like this. Rather than just jumping into the sack because its there....
you are normal and not a freak...
Hugs star
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A
female
reader, [email address blocked]  +, writes (1 March 2009):
hey you're normal. i am 16 as well and i am not a freak. i have not had a serious boyfriend and have not even made out with anyone and i'm perfectly normal. In fact, it is good to be a virgin until you are truly in love. All you need are good friends and happiness. =)
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