A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a bit of a miserable situation at the moment. My boyfriend and I have been together just over 2 years. We moved in together 3 months ago, after 2 days of living together we found out I was pregnant. I am now 17 weeks gone.Because we didn't know I was pregnant when we moved, we got ourselves a small house. Something suitable for the two of us and nothing more. I now feel it's far too small and want to move again but my boyfriend is putting the brakes on. I have (politely) asked him if he is willing to change jobs, find a better paying one so that we can rent a bigger house. I don't want anything huge, just an extra bedroom and a larger living room. We already have so much stuff, I dread to think what it will be like when baby is here. I love and want this baby with my entire being and I just want my little family to be comfortable.I work part time and have taken on extra work that I can do from home to try and help with the financial situation. But I'm getting bigger and have horrendous tiredness and dizzy spells that make it difficult.I told him there was no pressure and he told me he would look around for something else. But 5 weeks on there has been no sign of anything happening. I don't think he has even tried. I just wish he wouldn't say things that he has no intention of doing. He does it a lot, promises me stuff (from silly things like cleaning the windows to big stuff like sorting out a joint bank account) and never follows through with them. Something I find really upsetting. And believe me it happens EVERYDAY.I have never believed in the 'traditional' men and women roles before but now I feel he needs to step up and provide for his family. When I'm not in work I'm in the house by myself because we don't have the money to really do much. We barely have days off at the same time anyway. So days out together are out of the question. I just sit in the house I have come to hate feeling miserable.So I guess my question is, am I asking too much from him? I don't want to nag, should I just let him be and hope that he pulls through for us? Or am I being greedy and wanting far too much?Any advice would be hugely appreciated. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for your replies. I have taken them on board. Just a few more details, he does have a college degree himself and his job certainly does not allow him to reach his full potential. I do not have one, I left school because I was offered a supervisor role at the shop I worked at during the weekends. I worked full time on fairly good money until a few weeks ago, when my pregnancy became too difficult for me to carry on.
I haven't mentioned him getting another job since the first time because I am so concious of what a big pressure it is and really really don't want to be a nag. At the moment I'm just bottling it up and worrying inside instead of putting even more pressure on him by telling him how miserable I am.
Regarding our lease on the house, we signed our contract on March 12th and it lasts for six months at a time. So in September we will have to sign again for another six months if we can't afford somewhere else. If we end the contract early, we lose the deposit we put down.
We're struggling with money as it is and I don't want to be one of those families who struggles with everything. I grew up in one and although my mum did her very best, we didn't have alot.
Thank you very much for your advice.
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