A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, long story short: me and him - 3 year relationship. Love(ed) each other to bits, truly. Very passionate, but regular rows mainly due to his weed habit and mood swings. Him very "I'll show you" thru his actions eg, after a big row he went off and jumped into bed with someone - i foolishly took him backHe's 35, lives with his mum, no real job or regular income, yet he's an incredibly gifted and qualified holistic therapist. lots of "free time". I'm 33, a qualified proffessional and I work long hours, own my house and my car.I recently landed my dream job, early rise, long commute but i can go far in this job. He was al supportive at first, but last week he simply stopped all contact and refused to take my calls.Today I got him on the phone and he's finished with me for no reason. says our lives are heading in diferent directions and that it's unhealthy for him to be with me!! no further reason, then hung up... I think my continual success in all that I do (which comes from hard work) has made him feel inadequate... can you shed an outside light? He's not one for sharing and would be holding a lot in. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys - Update & Closure Alert!!
I was right about EVERYTHING. He WAS cheating, and it WAS with the girl I thought it was.
They are now together, she's besotted and He's taking her to Our old "secret places" - I know thisfrom a bit of snooping (I wanted answers and I got them) and also because she's put photos on the big mouthed beast that is Bebo!!
I have moved on too - HOT date tommorow nite! Lesson for us all here girls -
NEVER, NEVER DOUBT YOUR INSTINCT.
Message for the guys - Please, just tell the truth!!
Health Wealth & Happiness are ours in abundance.x.
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (17 May 2008):
 You were dating a guy who has low self esteem. I think the more successful you got, the worse he felt about himself. This isn't anything to do with you, it is all about him. It doesn't sound like he has much ambition. In the beginning he was probably proud of you but over time all you did was a contant reminder of what he wasn't doing.
He could see ahead to you introducing him to your peers or superiors and he could not hold his head up high anymore. This guy is 35 years old and he will never be able to give you anything, never. To a man, that spells failure. It is possible that he felt you would eventually leave him but it is also possible that with his holistic view he felt the material wealth you were earning was "toxic" to him.
I think he called it right that you are going in different directions. I know you cared about him but I actually think it was an unhealthy relationship for him, it was only adding fuel to his already warped self image.
I'm trying really hard not to say, you are better off without him but you really, really are and some day you will realize this. I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's easy to say dump him, but we've shared 3 years together and we truly love each other, so much to the point whe we cant stand each other sometimes. It isn't /wasn't always bad, in fact the good times are /were phenomenal. I'm a fiery person too, and I do give him his space when he needs it, but I don't understand the mentality behind the suddenly not phoning and refusing to take my calls... unless he's trying to stop smoking and staying away from me? He's cut himself off like this before but he's always made contact and we've dealt with it and moved on, but he's quite adamant that it's over this time.
A man's insight to this would be great.
He says there's no one else and that his feelings for me changed overnight.
I'm funny, outgoing and attractive, generous and honest. My phone is full of his texts telling me how amazing I am!! The only thing I feel I've done wrong is pursue my dreams and not spent as much quality time with him due to my new career.
Surely I deserve some sort of explanation? Oh, and he's also been visiting online dating sites and sending flirty texts during our good patches.. (Girls I know I sound like a total ass, but when he's focused and with it he's the most incredible guy... Should I just move on???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): You should have dumped him! Oh I don't know, why not try and go for a guy that actually has some image of the future?
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