A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi. So as you pretty much know I'm 17. I've always had the problem of falling for older guys that I obviously can't have because of the age difference. I guess it's because I'm quite mature for my age, as I've also been told, so I'm rarely attracted to guys my own age. So anyway I've developed feelings for one of my colleagues. These feelings started before I knew his age (I assumed he was a little younger). He's just turned 23 and I have a little while left before I'm officially 18 (quite a few months left). I've come to the conclusion from spending time with him that hes a really decent guy. We were flirting a little before we knew each other's age (he thought I was older and I thought he was younger). When we found out it didn't change much but I could tell that he was a bit sceptical about flirting, in case I wasn't into it(which I still was). But to be honest we still flirted a little. I like him and we got along so great and i can tell he likes me too, even a little.Am I mad for wanting to be with a guy that much older than me? I've seen bigger gaps. I mean I'm not talking about having sex with him, just a relationship. (Not to say that I wouldn't have sex with him, but if I had to wait until I'm 18 then I would, and he's a decent guy I'm sure he would too).I haven't been able to get him out of my mind this past week since we spent time to get to know each other. I don't know what I'm asking here but advice please?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2016): Most teenage girls would much rather have 28yo guy who acts 18 than an 18yo guy who acts 28. And I have never met a teenage girl who did NOT think she was mature for her age.
What you are feeling is just a sexual attraction. No better and no worse. Older men are sexy to young women just like younger women are sexy to older men. Maturity does not apply either way.
If you want to show some maturity then don't act on this attraction. That is maturity. The mature choice is usually the less fun choice.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 September 2016):
 You are not mad. You have a crush. The fact that he backed off when he learned your age is a sign he's mature enough to realize that the difference between 17 and 23 is huge
As you get older the age gap will not be much at all and the difference between 23 and 29 is smaller.
and the difference between 29 and 35 is almost nonexistent.
I would let this go and not pursue it with him. Respect that he has backed off.
And for what it's worth when I was 17 my husband was 4 but now he's 43 and I'm 56 and you can't even tell the difference in our ages.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2016):
 You say you are mature for your age, but from reading your post I can tell you are like most 17 year olds, your imagination is running wild on you, and you think about him as your boyfriend and being a decent and kind one who will wait until you are ready for sex.
The truth is though he is your colleague. There is some flirting going on, you both thought your ages might have been more similar than they are, but you are still reading to much in to it, its flirting in the work place. Has he asked you out? Told you he likes you? Or are you just hoping that he will.
Look if he is interested in a 17 year old at his age I would ask why, you might feel that you are mature for your age, but still you are only 17, and still see the world through a 17 year old eyes.
I agree I have saw bigger age gaps as well, but you are not yet legally an adult, so it could get him in trouble being with you. I am sure his friends and family would not be impressed, that is if he even likes you. He flirts with you but that does not mean he wants to date you.
I can't tell you weather to date him or not, that is between you and him to decide, but it could end up trouble and hurt if you both decide that is what you want.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 September 2016):
 You're not wrong for liking the idea, but a gap that big when you're still so young (I'd say the same if you were already 18) means you're not at the same life stage. I mean, even when you're 22, for example, he'll still be 28 and it's a big gap until you're 28 and he's 34, to be honest - in terms of life experience and stages.
I think it's fine to have a crush, but it shouldn't go any further.
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