A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:OK my boyfriend and I have been together for around six months now. We are both from different countries and met as exchange students. Now we are back in our own countries and have been apart for two months and will see each other next in Oct.I am 19 and he a little older than me. I don't want to sound immodest but I am rather attractive and have never been short of attention ever. But getting physical with guys has always been hard for me because I was afraid of being used. My boyfriend has literally been my first everything and its strange how free I feel (sexually that is) with him. Boy back in school would call me frigid and all because I didn't put out.My boyfriend is perfect. Loving, understanding and a bit shy :) And I have realized now that I am quite sexual now that I've given myself this chance.I chased him around a bit and he's very shy but after a couple of months of being really good friends we started going out and he's madly in love with me (like I am with him)With this distance, sometimes I feel like I'm tired off him and immediately I think I can't live without him. I can't think of why I love him or why I'm with him. I never thought this would happen. Sometimes I get bursts of love when I want to call him and say how much I love him but then I get confused.If our relationship continues, we will always be in a distant one until I graduate- three years. We are both from Europe so only a short flight away from each other. But sometimes I think, its going to be like being single with ties. And I start at a new uni this Sept, my thoughts are always, will I meet someone else, what if I do and what will I do then?Have I got entangled in something too serious too early? Like I'm totally totally in love with him and I never want to break up, but at the same time sometimes I just don't feel as strongly as I used to, as if now that I'm secure and he loves me so much I am almost so afraid of hurting him that I feel trapped? I don't want to break up with him I just want this feeling to go away.I really want to stay in this relationship. I feel like I am breaking my own heart. I just want people to tell me they've felt this way and that it will go away.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): Okay I see your problem here. I understand this situation because I'm feeling the same too and I know it. I'm also in a distance relationship and sometimes wonder too if I had made an mistake. Sometimes I feel like to give it up too but because of loving I can't. So I really do know how you feel.
Okay lets start off, since you said that you two will meet in October and you are really in love with him, why don't you give yourself sometime to settle with it? Distance relationship indeed is one of the hardest type of relationship to me personally. It is because you cannot see the one you love. It hurts.
I can't really say that you have made a too early decision. But if the both of you are willing to wait for both to be together perhaps someday in the future, then be committed to it. Make sure the both of you will not regret it. In this case you will need to think properly. Besides that, you should also have to discuss this matter with him seriously if you two are up to serious relationship in the future.
Waiting for the time to come indeed is a big pain. But if you are committed to him, it does worth it.
So, think twice, pick the best option, make the best decision!
Good Luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010): to be honest, i can't say this feeling will go away anytime soon.. even now october is still 2 months away, and if you're starting uni when will you see him then?
im in a long distance relationship, about a 3 hour train ride/drive from my partner, and thats bad enough! i see her usually every couple of weeks, sometimes more but sometimes less. and it is really hard, but at least she's in the same country and i dont have to book a flight to get to her.
i would suggest considering breaking up with him, even though you dont want to.. or perhaps see him in october and see how you feel then? as you quite rightly point out, you cannot guarantee that you won't meet someone at uni. then that just opens up a new can of worms!
good luck
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